Friday night

Went to Archie Moore's with Chris and then the Elks. Tommy met us there. His stepdaughter, Sally (Liz's daughter), will be getting surgery on Monday. The first of two for her stage 4 colon cancer. She's only 30 years old with a newborn. God please heal her. And Tom said that Liz has said she'd kill herself if anything happened to Sally. And he believes she means it. Please, God, heal her too.

Running around

Went to Walmart and bought a new printer to make up for the one we broke. Then went to BJs for the new laptop but they won't have any until tomorrow. I'll stop after work.

Was going to go to the alderman's meeting but there was no way to park.

And better yet

Went and gave the rent and security to Rich, the landlord/manager person. Saw the apartment again and it's much, much cleaner. And he gave me the keys so I'm all set. I do like it. It seems so big but I imagine when my stuff is in it, it will shrink a lot. LOL!!

I'm forgiving my sister because she IS my sister and she's certainly not all there. She's so happy now and we're good with each other. She was a little nervous that I wasn't going to talk to her or see her but I assured her that that would only happen if she keeps talking about the why of what she did. I don't care anymore, because it's going to be good and I'm happy. I will be happy. God is with me and I'm ok with this.

Maybe it will bring me and my sister closer. She's planning to make me carrot cake and help me decorate and she's so excited. So I'm happy.

Better today

Rita is too funny. She really does have mental issues, God help her. While she believes she's not done anything wrong in kicking me out, three times now! The guilt MUST have kicked in. She's being oh so sweet and giving me little things and offering me food and coffee and stuff. Geez!

I hope the landlord guy gets the place done asap because I really need to go into my own place and space. Ruffio is going to be so free -- four rooms to run around in.

I'm trying to be positive and trying to be nice. I want to keep my relationship with my sister. Today is her 53rd birthday. Wow.

out again

So after I wrote last night, Rita calls me downstairs. Once again they're fucking me over. They want me out. I ended up taking another pill to sleep and didn't go to work this morning. I'm devastated. While this wasn't the perfect arrangement, it was working. Or so I thought. Now I feel so depressed I can't take it. I told Anthony. He and Karla decided I can take her car so I can use my money to get a new place.

Joel mentioned just out of nowhere last night that there's another apartment in their building. It must be bigger and have a tub because it's $1,000 plus utilities instead of including utilities. If I can, I will do that. I'll be in Derby -- I'll hate being right on 34 but I guess I have to learn to like it. And I'll never trust her again. Never!

Ok. she just texted me. Its not in her building, it's next door and it's not open yet. That means security, probably.

Anthony and Karla came and got me. We went to her house and they cleaned out her car. Then we went to the Waterbury Mall for breakfast at Ihop and then back. I have Karla's car now.

Then I called the landlord and talked to him. It's the same guy and I reminded him that he told me if he had a place and I changed my mind ... I told him I did and wanted to see the place. He said he'd leave the side unlocked so Laura could show me. And it's $750 and I have to pay my own utilities. So Laura and I went over. I like it. It's filthy but they're supposed to be cleaning it and he said it should be ready Friday. So I'm giving Laura a check tonight so Joel can give it to him. At first I was going to give first month and half the security and owe him the rest. He's ok with that. But I have the whole $1,500 so I'll give him that.

And I can't find the envelope I have addressed to Yvonne with the money order in it. Now I'm going to have to write a check for $200 and send it to her and lose the money order money. Cripes, I can't do anything right. I know I didn't mail it because I got it yesterday and Darmish didn't have a stamp. Yesterday was Sunday. I looked everywhere five or six times including my trash that I didn't throw out for a few days. The only place it could be, if I didn't totally lose it, is in with all the envelopes of stuff I gave Anthony of his mail. I hope that's where it is. He's going to look when he gets home.

Found it! It was in my book -- I looked there but didn't see it then I saw it peeking out. Geez! I've had a dumb ass day thanks to doubling up on the sleeping meds last night. I have to remember to call Anthony tomorrow and let him know so he doesn't go looking for it. And I forgot to give Joel the check for the rent and security -- I'm paying both in full. I'll have to give it to him soon.

And I'm feeling weird -- relief. I wasn't happy being stuck in one room and being nagged constantly but I was happy that we mended fences, etc. So I'm hoping this move will take care of me. I need to be free. I told her I love her but I will not ever speak to her of this again. Ever.

Back to my old ways?

Wow! I haven't posted anything since Wednesday. I haven't done that in a long time. Well not much has happened other than Anthony is here and hopefully tomorrow we'll go look at cars. Went to Laura's for a mini meeting tonight.

Oh yes, Friday night Normand was up from Florida and we met at the Elks -- Chris and Tommy and Vinny and Joe and Ray and Patty and Roseann. It was a really nice get-together and we all hand a nice time. I also discovered that Bar None has wonderful mashed potato pizza. YUM!!!

We're supposed to get snow again this week. As much as I love it, it's almost making me look forward to spring. But not if I don't have a car. LOL!!!

And how about throwing in the expected slam. They want me out. Even though Tony begged me not to leave and said dont go to the apartment, they didn't say that. They said someday down the road. WTF? He said do. Not. Go. We want you here. When I said maybe in six months he said ok but I'd rather you don't go. And I didn't. This is twice they're fucking me over. Twice they're just about making me homeless. I have to think. I can't think. I don't know what to do. I do know that I'm so angry with myself for falling for their bullshit yet again.

I trust in God. God will help me. God will always help me. He has always helped me. This is my lifeline.

I WILL get through this. I will make it. I'll find a place. A place for me because this is total bullshit. I need to be with my own people, whoever they are.

Anthony

He's driving up from out West and he'll be leaving his Jeep here, with Karla, so she can use it and he has wheels when he's here. He also has to register it and get emissions.

He;s on the road now and expects to be home sometime Friday.

No work today

Like I've been saying -- a real winter. Although we wouldn't have been closed all these snow days back when we were kids. Most of us were walkers and there was WAY less traffic. And way less suing. But this makes for a six day weekend. Loving it.

I'll probably take a walk down to the post office in a few hours. It hasn't started snowing here yet and it's supposed to be in the low 30s. So we'll see.

Changed my mind about the post office. I'm nice and comfy here in my room. I'll keep working on my shawl, which will not be done in time for the end of the Olympics. Oh well -- at least joining the event got me working on it.

Supposed to go see Andy talk about his book at Derby neck tonight. Don't know if they're going to cancel.

Everything is melty now. Texted Arlene and we're going a little before 6. I guess I'm going to buy two copies -- one for Anthony and one for Carol and have him sign them. It goes against my grain to buy self-published books but he IS their uncle. Thank God Allen would never consider self-publishing. He knew that you never do that. But, unfortunately, he didn't have what it takes to get himself a publisher, even though he was definitely good enough. :(

And we went. How odd to be part but not part of the family. Andy and his family acted pretty much as if I weren't there. Except, of course, for my Chontelle and her family. I bought two copies of the book - one for Anthony and one for Carol. He signed Anthony's as if it were for a stranger and just signing it Uncle Andy. And yet Carol's he mentions Allen and he signs it Love, Uncle Andy. I am trying hard not to let this bother me. My son is his Godson and it's like Anthony and I are not family. I am not really but Anthony is his flesh and blood. His nephew. His brother's son who never did a single thing to deserve this.

Groceries and home.

Rant to Big Y and ended up spending $84. Made taquitos and stuffed mushrooms so I have lunch for tomorrow. We also have the pork from yesterday. So I should be set for work this week.

Tomorrow is Tuesday. Now they're predicting snow for the morning. I do love having a normal winter! But it makes it a little hard as far as work is concerned. I'm used to being able to walk to work in bad weather. So I'm hoping that if it does snow, it's before work and they close or delay or after I'm home from work.

Worked a little bit on my shawl -- its growing slowly but surly.

Very nice time

At Dutch's retirement party at the Elks. A HUGE spread of appetizers, good company and even good karaoke. Maria, who owns Dunkin Donuts, kept asking for good Italian songs including Rose Rosse by Massimo Ranieri. I had really pleasant time.

I'm just glad there's no work tomorrow.

Denise

Gold help her please. All the crap she's been through and now she fell and fractured a disk. She called me from the ground because she needed someone to be on the phone with her while Rick went to get help. They were on the island and she had to be airlifted off the island to the nearest hospital. She was hysterical -- in pain and not wanting to have to go through doctors and hospitals again. She wanted to give up. I stayed on the phone with her until Rick got back with help and I talked to him for a second. She at a hospital now and posting on Facebook. So that's a good sign.

We were supposed to get hit with another "blizzard" today. It snowed a little and I think it finally stopped. Rita will be sleeping at Lindsey's yet again because Bryce is working.

I walked down to the post office earlier and it was nice out. Almost 40 degrees so I'm not worried about blizzards and such!

A Night at the Elks

Tommy came down for awhile. I do love him very much. He's never abandoned me or thrown me away. He's my friend unconditionally. And I his.

Dr. Anita was there and bought us drinks. She also introduced me to Vicky, our Community person. She's all excited about the Eco Fest. They both are and they have some good ideas. One of them mentioned maybe trading in the old light bulbs with the new ones. They want to work with us and think my other ideas about empty offices are good. Anyway I see the city grown and becoming and that's exciting.

Blizzard my butt

It constantly amazes me how incredibly incompetent these meteorologists are and they have computers to tell them what the weather will be. Give me the good old meteorologists who looked at the clouds and sky and predicted the weather correctly. The 'blizzard' turned out to be a good old fashioned heavy snowstorm that cleared up by afternoon and the roads are now clear. Lots of snow on the sides and stuff but the roads are fine.

But I spent a nice long lazy day with Ruffio. I knit on my shawl for the Woodland games -- I still don't think it will be done by the end of the Olympics but I am working on it. Read a little bit and watched some tv. I plan on doing the same tomorrow except if it's not freezing out, I might take a walk to the cigar store.

I love being home.

Oh and my Carol Rose starts her new job tomorrow. She'll be amazing!

And we're off

They told us this morning that we have no work tomorrow due to a probably nor'easter. It's winter!!

Peggie and I went to Savers and then the Hibachi Grill. Had a nice time and I finally bought a pair of snow boots. They're kids boots but are warm and fit so I don't care.

So I have a five day weekend. YEAH!

Blizzard headed this way

Bobis already saying there will be no work on Thursday. This one is being labeled as the Blizzard of 2014 and it's not even here yet. A real old fashioned winter this time around.

Bought us pizza for supper - Albertos. I keep forgetting that they over do it with Parmesan cheese. I can still smell it on my lips. Grrr!!

So if we're off Thursday, it will be a five day weekend. A mini vacation. Because we're having Friday off for Lincoln's Birthday which is tomorrow and Monday is President's Day.

Library night

I love my library so much. Tonight was another cooking thing with Stacy and we learned a few heart healthy ideas. I also got my Fitbit and put in it that I want to get down to 115 pounds. I'm working towards a pound a week with a goal of mid June. We'll see. I will need will power.

And now I'm about to eat a donut. LOL!!!

Missing Allen tonight and a great quote on how to live

Exactly 50 years ago today, the Beatles played on The Ed Sullivan Show. I'm watching the tribute and Paul and Ringo are there with an amazing number of artists celebrating them. It's snowing out. If we were still together we'd be glued to the tv and watching together. I'm missing that. Well I'm sure he's in Heaven watching with John and George.

Stayed home all day and knit on my Robin shawl. I actually completed 14 rows. This is my entry to the Ravelry TOK Woodland games. I hope I'm going to be able to finish it.  It's been a WIP for at least three years now.

I thought Dutch's party was today but it's next sunday. And tomorrow my Sammy Dove will be 18!

And putting this beautiful quote here so I hopefully won't forget it.

Native Wisdom
So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.
Seek to make your life long and Its purpose in the service of your people.
Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and bow to none.
When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the food and for the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.
Abuse no one and nothing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way.
Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.

~ Chief Tecumseh, Shawnee Nation

Missed a day

So far just one day I forgot to post.

Anyway -- last night Chris picked me up and we went to Archie Moore's for supper. Then we met Tommy and Vinny at the Elks and pretty much just sat there talking all night. It was a nice evening and Tommy came with good news. His stepdaughter's tumor has shrunk and they'll be able to do surgery. I can't fathom a young 30-year-old girl having colon cancer. It's horrible.

Today I went to the Chinese buffet in Hamden with Sandy and then we cruised the stores. It was nice to have a typical Saturday.

I can't believe my Sammy Dove is going to be 18 on Monday. And worse, that Allen isn't here to celebrate with us.

On the up side -- "Little" Timmy and MacKenzie had a baby boy. They named him Edison.

Back to work

We had a delay until 11 a.m. then I drove myself in. The roads were pretty good and coming home it was beautiful even though it was 28 degrees. I do love winter.

I talked to Carol a few times today. She got fired from her job but had an interview -- for 14 jobs at once!! I'm sure she'll get one, preferably the one she wants the most. God I miss my daughter. And Anthony and Allen too of course but I love my Carol Rose so much and miss her terribly. Even when she's a total bitch to me and I'm so upset the knowledge that she loves me and I love her is still there. And we're Italian -- real Italian -- so the fights happen. I don't miss when she treats me like crap but I'd even take that if it meant she were here. :(

Ah well. I'll never move from New England, preferably never from Derby and they don't like it here so there's nothing that can be done.

Tomorrow night we're supposed to meet up with Tom and Vince at the lodge. We'll be there and we'll see if they will!

Snow day

We got off -- I think they sent us the notice last night and I may have already said that. I spent the entire day making ribs and they're probably awful. I did walk down to the post office. It wasn't bad out at all.

I do refuse to shovel unless there's no other choice. Rita just came in after being out there since this morning shoveling. While Tony slept. I hope it was because he wasn't feeling well. I fully believe if you have a husband or sons, You. Do. Not. Shovel. And if it were me, I'd find a person who needs some money and pay them to do it. I am amazed at these women who (and I know more than a few) who go out and do all the shoveling or snowblowing while their sons, active in sports, sleep in. Or their husbands, avid gym-goers, lay on the couch.

Also if I pay rent, I don't shovel.

We have another storm supposedly coming in over the weekend, I guess. I don't know. I just know this has been a regular winter and I only wish I worked here in (East) Derby instead of Hamden. Then I'd have no problem driving to work or walking like I used to. I never was afraid to get to work. :)

Winter storm Derby

Can you believe that's the name of the storm we're expecting tomorrow? And work has already been called off.

Went to work today and it was so beautiful out. The trees covered in snow but the roads were great to drive on.

But tomorrow will be another story and then they're expecting another storm Sunday or Monday.

Normal New England winter although people thing there's vortexes or something. I don't understand this. Winter is winter. Snow is normal in winter.

Winter continues

It was snowing when I woke up and they said it was going to get worse. Calm down around 3 p.m. So I called in sick. Rita wasn't up and she wouldn't have wanted to drive me in. Plus, if she did, Carlton wouldn't be able to take me home because he'd be shoveling at work. And no way in hell was I going to drive in. I'm glad I did what I did because I get an SCSU alert at 8 a.m. saying the school was now closed. Seriously????????? Other than the trades guys, Judy and I are the only ones in at 7 a.m. And everyone else would be on the road to get to work at 8 a.m.. That's a real screw up in my opinion. I have idea what Bob is doing -- actually I'm sure he advised the president not to open today and she shot him down. Wow!! And guess what? It's 5 a.m. and still snowing.

On the up side I have been knitting on and off all day and making progress on my Sourwood Mountain mitts. I've had one cuff done for several years and today am finishing the other. Then on to the mitts.

This winter seems to have been an old fashioned winter, the way I remember them being when I was growing up. People are talking about vortexes and stuff but it's just our old winter again.

Superbowl

Went to the Elks with Chris to eat. I brought a few things and they had tons of food. Seattle won, which is good -- I love Seattle and the Pats weren't in it so that's who I was rooting for. The halftime show was great -- Bruno Mars and the Red Hot Chili Peppers singing together. But the best part of it was the Budweiser commercial -- a puppy and a horse who didn't want to be apart with the background music being Let Her Go by Passenger -- a song I totally love.

Great night!

New York, New York

My first Broadway play was wonderful. Monica and I took the train in and walked up to Time Square. It wasn't too bad when we got there but afterward it was complete chaos because of the Superbowl celebrations. There were points after the play where we couldn't move at all so we got off Times Square and onto less populated, but still full of people, streets.

The play was at the Lyceium Theater and it was fantastic. The woman who played Janis Joplin wasn't even the one who does it the most. She only does it at the Wednesday and Saturday matinees but I can't see the other one doing better. Close your eyes and Janis is in the room. Awesome!