The old year ends

Today is the last day of 2013 - and what a year it's been. My friend Katherine (from Delphi and now Facebook), the minister, posted this prayer and I want to start the new year with it:

A very good prayer for all of us, on the cusp of a new year. Who knows what the year will bring? Whatever it is, give us the courage to bear what is painful; give us the love to share what is joyful; and give us the peace to accept what happens.

I offer you the year ahead, Lord,
with its months as 12 new chapters in the book of my life:
help me see the story of your love in the days of each week;
show me the clues that resolve the mysteries that baffle me;
let me see how these new chapters follow from what has been
and lead to what is yet to come...

Be the Author of the chapters of my life, Lord,
and let your words and your story
shape the person you created me to be…

I offer you the new year, Lord, and pray that I will come to its end
in your peace and in the embrace of your arms…
Amen.
~ A Concord Pastor

Also last night Tony lent me the money to fix my car and reiterated that he would like me to stay here or come back. I need to be on my own for a bit but will definitely keep that in mind. 

Today I walked to the post office to pick up my mail and meet the landlord to give him the first month's check. Rita and I will get the stuff out of my Jeep and put it in her Blazer and bring it to the apartment shortly. Talked to AAA and they said to call Thursday morning an hour before I want the Jeep towed. I have to call Uverse and have them set up.

This year I lost two of the most precious people in my life -- Lou and Pepino. My heart still hurts. I know they're with me always and I'll see them again someday but somehow that doesn't help when I'm missing them so much. This year I finished forgiving my sister and Tony and living with them for four or five months, made us a family again. This year both my children flew the coop and I also miss them and my Laney very much. This year I almost lost another dear friend, Yvonne, but God heard all our prayers and healed her. This year another dear friend, Jack, and I forgave each other and became close again. This year I made another best friend -- Chris. There were many ups and downs in my personal life but for the most part they were good. This year I got a crazy kitten named Ruffio.

In outside personal life this year we've gotten a new pope and he seems wonderful. I'm sure there was more history made this year but I can't remember off hand.

Resolutions? Not really. Just to have the best year ever. Try to be healthier and exercise. Try to be kinder and more loving. Try to keep my opinions to myself since most times no one cares or they get angry that mine differ from theirs. It's ok. I'm really going to try to do better. Try to save some money for emergencies. We'll see. :)

Almost forgot the most important thing of all -- I want to try to go to church more and to spend more time with God.

Goodbye 2013.

I wrote this at 6:17 on New Years Eve night but need to edit it. Three more people we lost were Gina -- how can I forget her, Bob Cavanaugh Sr. and Eric DiGreggorio. And I hooked up with Joann Cavanaugh for a while and will again this brand new year.

Family

Wow. Tony just handed me $500. He lent it to me for the transmission. The guy said it's $603 so all I have to put in is $103. Thank God! What a weird family we are. He wants me to come live here and honestly, I would love it if I thought we could do it. He's now blaming my Pino for the stress, which could be possible since he was so helpless and stuff. I told him I would like to live on my own until at least the summer. I might just fall in love with it. Or not. We'll see. Thankfully I have options.

So I'm taking tomorrow off and trying to get stuff done. I have to meet the landlord somewhere -- maybe he can meet me downtown because I'll have to go to the post office. And I need to get the stuff from the Jeep into Rita's Blazer and up to the apartment if I can get the key from Joel. And, of course, I have to call AAA to schedule them towing the Jeep to Daddio's on Thursday  morning. They better not say I have to be here!

Weirdness

So Tony wants me to stay here -- put my stuff in storage and live with them. I told him I need to get out on my own for awhile and would keep that as an option. It really would be nice except for poor Ruffio who would be condemned to forever living in just one room. But I am looking forward to having my own place.

He also said that he would pay to have the jeep fixed and I could pay him back but not to tell Rita. Because I told him that Rita said he didn't have the money to help me out. He said just don't tell her. So hopefully I'll get a good quote tomorrow and it can be done fast.

Went to Mass with Sandy and then to IHop and the plaza. It was a nice day.

Saturday and today

So I posted after midnight on Friday night which makes it look like I posted Saturday. I didn't.

Yesterday Roseann and Anita picked me up and we met Chris, Carol, Joe, Ray and Patty at the Valley Diner for lunch. We all sat and talked for a few hours and had a nice time. Then I came home. Earlier I called Daddio's and paid for the transmission and the guy is going to have his mechanic call me on Monday with a price. Tony's got two other prices coming. I asked Tony if he could help move some of my stuff today. Joel's got several people lined up. Tony blew me off -- we'll talk later. All I want, I told him, is the use of his truck and him as driver. Nothing else. I really can't wait until I'm moved and have a vehicle so I don't have to get aggravated with them.

I'm waiting on Sandy to pick me up so we can go to Cheshire for Mass and our usual Becket's feast day stuff.

Vinny and Chris

Went to the lodge with Chris and Vinny met us there. We had a nice time and I just got home. Tomorrow Chris will be meeting me and Roseann and Carol Cleracuzio and who knows else, at the diner at 12:30. I invited Vinny but he probably won't come.

There was an accident in front of work this morning. A young lady and her boyfriend/husband and baby got hit by an SUV. Luckily the baby was on the opposite side from where it hit and it hit the back panel so no one was injured. They went to the hospital to get checked out though. Their car was totaled.

Slept

Anthony picked me up from work and gave  me a ride home. As soon as I got in the house, I went upstairs and laid down and didn't get up until after 9 p.m. I'm heading back to sleep now. Bleh!

A wonderful Christmas day

It really was. I finished up making stuff to bring to Karla's just as Diana was coming to get me. Her father drove us and we got to Karla's early. Big Carla and JP were there and Michael and his girlfriend, Catherine and her two little ones. The house was filled with children and presents and food. I got presents too.

Then Diana and Big Mike went to pick up the guys. Their flight was delayed in Detroit so they got in later than expected. When they came in they ate and then the flurry of real presents started. Oh my God -- I got presents. My son gave me a goofy mug -- shaped like a prescription bottle for coffee and a chocolate bar and a bath pampering set but most beautiful of all was a wall thing with a beautiful poem about mother. I cried. Couldn't help it.

Sammy bought gifts for everyone and made sure they were special to each person. She got me Dr. Who chocolates!! Three Tardis's and three Daleks and they're amazing.

Diana and James got me a really nice fragrance diffuser and Carla and JP got me snowman dishtowels.

I didn't expect a shower of gifts and am so touched.

Christmas at Karla's, with all the kids all over the place, is how Christmas should be. I am blessed to have such a wonderful family.

New Pope

Watching the Mass and being filled with the Spirit. I went to a service with Rita and Tony and Jeff and John but didn't participate in the communion. I didn't feel comfortable and didn't want to drink the koolaid. Other than that it was very nice.

Spent the day making appetizers to bring to Lindsey's and have to do the same for Karla's tomorrow.

We ate up Lindsey's and Tony's not going to help me out with the transmission like he said he would. If I had known I wouldn't have put a hold on it. I'm hoping they'll let me do a layaway thing.

New band

So there's a hopefully up-and-coming band, called Home Free, that I am loving on a show called The Sing Off. Eddy saw them in Minnesota so they do tour. I want to see them. They're Country but modern and a capella and great. And Jewel -- oh how I love Jewel. She's so sweet and talented and wonderful. She's a judge on the show.

Put a used transmission on hold at Daddio's. I hope Tony's going to pay for it like he said he would and I can pay him $100 every other week until it's paid for. Carlton says he knows a few guys in Bridgeport that might be able to put it in for cheap.

We're getting out at 12:30 tomorrow so Judy's going to give me a ride home because the rest of the campus, including Carlton, will be getting out at 2.

I can't believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve already. The last night for my annual novena. I love that novena.

Sound of Music

I really should watch it. I've never seen it. I know all the music but never had an interest in the movie. It's on now and probably halfway over and I'm sucked into it.

I accomplished a bit today. Rice Krispie treats, nut cups and sugar cookies. Not bad. Rita took me to get the rest of the stuff I need so I'll be doing more tomorrow after work if I'm not exhausted and the rest Tuesday, Christmas Eve. We're eating at Lindsey's and I'm bringing a mess of stuff.

The nut cups came out great. I misplaced Aunt El's recipe so I found a different one on Pinterest. I like the way it's done but the filling isn't as good as Aunt El's.

Saturday

Went to the Elks last night in half an hour with Chris and had a nice time. She's having a party at her house on the 4th.

I walked down to the post office -- it was so warm today that I had to take my coat off while I walked. Ugh!

Then I waited most of the day for Tony or Rita to take me shopping so I could start baking. We did find that Daddio's has a transmission for my Jeep for $425ish and Tony said he'd buy it and I could pay him $50/week. So I'll call them on Monday to see what we can do. Then we'll need to find someone to put it in for cheap.

Decided to walk to Shop Rite since Rita said she'd take me after nine. I told her that would be way too late. I can't spend my life waiting. I didn't say that to her but that's what it's like around here. They say they're going to do something and it never happens. The chicken she was supposed to cook in the beginning of the week is now rotting in the fridge.

So I walked down, which was no big deal. But I called Roseann for a ride home so I could get all the stuff I needed to get. Then I came home and made the brownies with the peanut butter cups. I feel like I accomplished some little thing.

Biblical law

Found this interesting and humorous. Hopefully if I put it here, I'll remember where it is if I want to find it again. LOL!!

http://www.11points.com/Books/11_Things_The_Bible_Bans,_But_You_Do_Anyway

My kids

Talked to both of them a little bit today. Miss them both so much. Don't miss all of us fighting but I do miss them so very much.

Bob bought us nasty pizza today from Eli's. Why the hell pizza places need to cover pizza in Parmesan, I can't even fathom. But the thought was there.

Went to an alderman meeting with Laura, Joel and Antonino. It was really interesting and it was Anita's first as mayor. Tommy was there and asked if he can run a road race like they do in New York next New Year's Eve with proceeds going to one of the sports programs at the Middle School or High School. Laura offered the help of the Cultural Commission and he asked me personally to help. Of course I will!

Some young not so bright person stood up and asked that the name of Sodom Lane be changed to something else. Oh brother!

New Pope and Hillary

He made Time Magazine's Man of the Year. He believes in not judging. He rides the bus and makes his own phone calls. He tweets and takes selfies. And I need to go back to church.

And Hillary Clinton is talking to Barbara Walters and I like her very much right now. I want to read more about her. She wants to live a life of integrity and service. She wants to feel that she's made a contribution. I like her.

More snow

So we went to the casino and I ate a lot but didn't win a thing. That's ok. We had a great time. We did leave at 7 a.m. to beat the snow. Just made it in.

Work got out early so I'm hoping there's either a delay or no work tomorrow.

Chris wants to go out to the Elks Friday. We're going to meet Pattie Degnan there too. We'll have fun.

My Pino would have loved this snow. God I still miss him so much.

Stuff

I was thinking, as I often do, of how much I miss my mother and how much I should have asked her and talked to her about and how I'll never have that chance. I never thanked her for being such a great mom or for being there for me all the time. I never asked how she and Daddy met. Or what her dreams were growing up. Or if her life turned out at all like she wanted it to be. I was so self-centered that I never asked any of that. I always thought we'd take her here and there with us and we never did because I figured she wouldn't want to go. I never asked. And looking back I know she would have loved doing anything at all with us and I would have loved her being with us. I'm so sorry.

Bitchin day

It snowed today -- it's still snowing. But the accumulation isn't a lot. It does look nice though.

Rita's brakes are gone so now I'm pretty much screwed. I don't know how I'm supposed to get to work if they don't get the brakes fixed before I have to go back.

I made Mrs. Iac cookies and brownies with peanut butter cups and then I got grumpy. No one eats around here. I don't know.

I ended up making pork chops so that was good. Sandy is bitching because we've got another storm headed in and we're supposed to go to the casino Monday overnight. Instead of getting bent we should just not go. But she can't reschedule if she changes the day again. It was a free room so I don't see what the big deal is. Whatever. I guess we'll be going.

Got my Tokmas gift -- a disappearing Tardis mug, a box of smokey tea and a pair of Tardis hair bows. Awesome!!

Tomorrow the snow comes

Wish Pino could be here to run around in it if it's what they say it's going to be. Maybe he asked it to be sent? I am missing him so much.

Snow

Snow. I love snow. Mommy loved snow. Pino absolutely loved snow. I'm grateful that his last few winters had enough snow to make him happy. There's snow on the ground from the other day and I keep thinking how he would have loved running through it. I miss him so much. I know in my heart that I did the right thing but it still feels like murder to me. Will he ... has he ... forgiven me? Will I ever forgive myself? As long as he's there waiting for me and happy to see me when I die, I'll be ok.

Going up

My prayers are being answered a little at a time. Don't know what's going to happen with the Jeep but I gave Tony the key so he can have is guy look at it.

The landlord called and said I will be in by the first. He said he has no problem working with me about the security. I told him I'd have it paid in January.

Talked to Anthony tonight and I talk to Carol several times a week.

Snow day sort of

All schools but ours canceled this morning. But this morning wasn't bad. Then they decided to let us out at 11:30 after the snow wasn't bad. Kind of weird but ok. It did continue snowing in Derby but nothing bad.

Laura said the landlord said I can start moving stuff in. I asked her to find out when I'd have to pay because I'm obviously not ready now. I don't want to lose the apartment but with all the stuff that's come up, I don't know if I can go in right now. I was hoping for February first. She said she was going to have him call me.

Karla and Anthony

So Michael and his girlfriend are going to have a baby -- a boy. I'm happy for them. Hopefully this will ground him.

Speaking of grounding. I told Karla I hope she and Anthony get married someday. She thinks they will and hopefully soon. I hope so too. They a so good for each other.

Work tomorrow

Wondering why they called Bryce in at 6 p.m. because of snow. I don't have to drive in it -- my sister will drive me until I get a car. But there was tiny flurries for about three and half minutes when we came out of Walmart and that was it. Bryce was called in which means the state is expecting something. I can't find anything more than light snow on the weather sites. We'll see.

Anyway back to work tomorrow. I am going to have a ton of work orders to catch up on and probably reqs too. That's ok. That's what I get paid for.

I'm glad I'm finally feeling better.

Watching the new Bonnie and Clyde and I just can't seem to get into it.

To the Mall?

We're waiting on Tony to come back from the gym so we can go to the mall. I really don't need to go to the mall. I need to go to Walmart or something so I can pick up a few odds and ends to put in my TOKmas parcel that has to be mailed after work tomorrow.

If we don't get there, I'm screwed. It's now almost 4 p.m. We'll see.

Blah

Stayed home. Should be interesting at work. I hope they don't say anything bad to me.

Car is a goner. Went and got it and drove it back here. I'll see if I can see it for parts.

That's about it.

Car and still not well

I dragged myself out of bed and tried to go to work. Got as far as Warsaw Park when I figured I wasn't going to make it to work. There's something not good about the car. I forgot my phone at home so I had to call when I got back to the house. So I'm home sick and have a sick car. Brought it to John but he hasn't called yet to tell me what's wrong. Please God, don't let it be expensive. :(

Cosmic

Went to Cosmic. My car is acting up. I hope it's nothing unaffordable because I don't have money for this. It was supposed to be all fixed with the brakes and the belt.

Dan Rivera came to Cosmic and we all had some good discussions. I enjoyed tonight.

Sick with a cold

Stayed home today. Have a cold and a cough and and a headache. I'll probably stay home tomorrow too. Cosmic is tomorrow night. Hope I'll be able to go. Two days in bed should do it and make me better, no?

December is here

And I forgot to write something last night. I really would like to write something every single day. Oh well!

We did our own Thanksgiving yesterday. Rita and Tony invited Jeff, the guy I almost shot. Since he was sober, everything was really nice.

Tonight is a cooking thing at the library with Stacey. I really love those. Tonight she's doing holiday dips and spread.