July 24, 2017

So Margaret and went to the Ocean State Paracon in Rhode Island last weekend and had a blast. Met Andrea Perone again and some really cool people.

I'm supposed to be working for a farmer at the Farmer's market but he didn't show up yet again, yesterday.

What to do? What to do? I went to Susan''s for supper and she asked me if Sam and I want to rent from her. Downstairs! The awesome part of the house. She's working in Stamford and is going to move there. I'm in shock. God knows I have always wanted to live in a Victorian mansion. He has given me my every dream so far. Every. Single. One. So I can only hope this is from Him. I mean there's even a butler's pantry. The two downsides are that it's oil heat -- but it does have radiators! And I think it's an electric stove. I'll definitely have to work around that. And it  might be haunted but I would either have the place blessed or do it myself with my house blessing kit from Farah and Ken. And another plus is that it's right next door to Roseann and only a few yards from the library!

June 4, 2017

Mommy and Daddy's wedding anniversary. Hope they had fun in heaven.

My day was great. I went to Naugatuck to Duck Days with Anthony, Karla, Diana, the baby and Big Mike. Faire people were there. Got to see Lee which was great. Talked to Danny about getting me and Sandy comped. He said ok. Have to let him know ahead of time. Denis asked me if I'd help out the Sterling Lion Theatre with their show. So I messaged Kelly and said I'd help. Saw Marcie and shocked her with a hug. LOL!!

Anthony brought me to see the farm he's working on. He has wonderful crops of lettuce and tomatoes. I pray that he is successful in this venture.

On a low note, Andy made the mistake of posting the other day that he picked up his brother at the airport. I asked if Timmy was here. Of course Andy didn't answer. Arlene did and all she said was yes.

Well seeing that Andy's birthday was yesterday I figured he was up here for that. I was right. They had a huge FAMILY party and guess who wasn't invited? Picture has the whole family but me in there. I feel like saying to Arlene, Et tu, Arlene? Even if she didn't arrange this party, she would have seen to it that I was part of it. Her kids weren't in the picture but I'm sure they were invited. I know Andy doesn't give a shit about me, but I'm a little surprised at the others. I guess they're finally done with me. I'm not going to bother with them anymore and one at a time I'm going to unfriend them. I think I am the new Aunt Lydia. :(

And that's that.

May 12,2017

Did I mention I'm going for a free Associate's degree online through the union? Well I am. And I just finished my second course, Psychology 101, with 87.84, which works out to be a B. If I had been able to take and pass one of the tests, it would have put me to 90 and given me an A. But I couldn't pass the pre test for some reason and instead of the normal five tries, the professor gave me NINE! So that means I got a zero on that test.

I finished my first course, English 101, with an 80.78, which should be a low B. So I'm rocking a B average so far.

And my Psych professor emailed me with these wonderful quotes:

As we approach the end of our time together…. Some thoughts I’ve found inspirational……Throughout the ages, people have looked for meaning and truth. These truths are searched so that people can dedicate their life down a path that will have meaning and value. There are many truths that can be determined but it is up to each person to choose the right ones based on their own personal values. There is one truth that must always be sought after-- that truth is that you must take charge of your own life for you cannot lead a life of truth if you let someone else take responsibility for your thoughts or actions. Each person must be committed to take charge of his or her own destiny for without this ownership, you will never find happiness, nor will you find your real purpose in life. You have a right if not a duty to determine your own life's path and no one else should take this away from you. You must make the decision no matter how difficult to own your own life. This decision can be very foreign and very scary, but the potential for rewards is awesome. Good having you in class; hope your continued journey is a mesmerizing one……

May 9, 2017

Been thinking so much of Lou lately. I just sat here in work and cried. I miss her. I miss her very much. I think I lost her voicemail that I had saved because I can't find it on my computer or phone. So I'll never hear her voice again. I am hurting so much.

At the end of the month it will be four years. Four years! The last words we said to each other were three days before she died. "I love you."

I don't understand why it hurts so much more than Allen dying. Maybe because she loved me and I loved her and with both of us it was unconditional. Even when I told her not to come back until she was clean, she knew I said that out of love and concern.

I think I need to start writing in here again in case anything happens to Facebook.

April 26, 2017

This isn't something I can put on Facebook and hope to remember that way. Anita just sent me a news brief from Fox 61. Paul is in jail for homicide under $750,000 bond. I am in shock.

March 16,2017

I haven't been writing because everything's pretty much on Facebook that goes on in my life. But this is incredible and I'm still in shock. I don't know how I'm going to do it - pay all that I have to pay. But today my boss, who I thought hated me since she criticizes every little thing I do, not only physically took me to a car dealership and made me buy a car, but she is paying off the Trailblazer and I will be paying her on that. I still can't believe it and I tried to refuse but she's a Scorpio and she won.

So now the debt will be bigger but I'll do my best to make it through the next year without getting off the wall behind. And then I'll start collecting social security a year from now and still work so I'll be able to hopefully get out of debt except for living and car expenses.

I was taking tomorrow off from work but am going in and then around 11 Pat and I will be going to get my car. I am still in shock.