The old year ends

Today is the last day of 2013 - and what a year it's been. My friend Katherine (from Delphi and now Facebook), the minister, posted this prayer and I want to start the new year with it:

A very good prayer for all of us, on the cusp of a new year. Who knows what the year will bring? Whatever it is, give us the courage to bear what is painful; give us the love to share what is joyful; and give us the peace to accept what happens.

I offer you the year ahead, Lord,
with its months as 12 new chapters in the book of my life:
help me see the story of your love in the days of each week;
show me the clues that resolve the mysteries that baffle me;
let me see how these new chapters follow from what has been
and lead to what is yet to come...

Be the Author of the chapters of my life, Lord,
and let your words and your story
shape the person you created me to be…

I offer you the new year, Lord, and pray that I will come to its end
in your peace and in the embrace of your arms…
Amen.
~ A Concord Pastor

Also last night Tony lent me the money to fix my car and reiterated that he would like me to stay here or come back. I need to be on my own for a bit but will definitely keep that in mind. 

Today I walked to the post office to pick up my mail and meet the landlord to give him the first month's check. Rita and I will get the stuff out of my Jeep and put it in her Blazer and bring it to the apartment shortly. Talked to AAA and they said to call Thursday morning an hour before I want the Jeep towed. I have to call Uverse and have them set up.

This year I lost two of the most precious people in my life -- Lou and Pepino. My heart still hurts. I know they're with me always and I'll see them again someday but somehow that doesn't help when I'm missing them so much. This year I finished forgiving my sister and Tony and living with them for four or five months, made us a family again. This year both my children flew the coop and I also miss them and my Laney very much. This year I almost lost another dear friend, Yvonne, but God heard all our prayers and healed her. This year another dear friend, Jack, and I forgave each other and became close again. This year I made another best friend -- Chris. There were many ups and downs in my personal life but for the most part they were good. This year I got a crazy kitten named Ruffio.

In outside personal life this year we've gotten a new pope and he seems wonderful. I'm sure there was more history made this year but I can't remember off hand.

Resolutions? Not really. Just to have the best year ever. Try to be healthier and exercise. Try to be kinder and more loving. Try to keep my opinions to myself since most times no one cares or they get angry that mine differ from theirs. It's ok. I'm really going to try to do better. Try to save some money for emergencies. We'll see. :)

Almost forgot the most important thing of all -- I want to try to go to church more and to spend more time with God.

Goodbye 2013.

I wrote this at 6:17 on New Years Eve night but need to edit it. Three more people we lost were Gina -- how can I forget her, Bob Cavanaugh Sr. and Eric DiGreggorio. And I hooked up with Joann Cavanaugh for a while and will again this brand new year.

Family

Wow. Tony just handed me $500. He lent it to me for the transmission. The guy said it's $603 so all I have to put in is $103. Thank God! What a weird family we are. He wants me to come live here and honestly, I would love it if I thought we could do it. He's now blaming my Pino for the stress, which could be possible since he was so helpless and stuff. I told him I would like to live on my own until at least the summer. I might just fall in love with it. Or not. We'll see. Thankfully I have options.

So I'm taking tomorrow off and trying to get stuff done. I have to meet the landlord somewhere -- maybe he can meet me downtown because I'll have to go to the post office. And I need to get the stuff from the Jeep into Rita's Blazer and up to the apartment if I can get the key from Joel. And, of course, I have to call AAA to schedule them towing the Jeep to Daddio's on Thursday  morning. They better not say I have to be here!

Weirdness

So Tony wants me to stay here -- put my stuff in storage and live with them. I told him I need to get out on my own for awhile and would keep that as an option. It really would be nice except for poor Ruffio who would be condemned to forever living in just one room. But I am looking forward to having my own place.

He also said that he would pay to have the jeep fixed and I could pay him back but not to tell Rita. Because I told him that Rita said he didn't have the money to help me out. He said just don't tell her. So hopefully I'll get a good quote tomorrow and it can be done fast.

Went to Mass with Sandy and then to IHop and the plaza. It was a nice day.

Saturday and today

So I posted after midnight on Friday night which makes it look like I posted Saturday. I didn't.

Yesterday Roseann and Anita picked me up and we met Chris, Carol, Joe, Ray and Patty at the Valley Diner for lunch. We all sat and talked for a few hours and had a nice time. Then I came home. Earlier I called Daddio's and paid for the transmission and the guy is going to have his mechanic call me on Monday with a price. Tony's got two other prices coming. I asked Tony if he could help move some of my stuff today. Joel's got several people lined up. Tony blew me off -- we'll talk later. All I want, I told him, is the use of his truck and him as driver. Nothing else. I really can't wait until I'm moved and have a vehicle so I don't have to get aggravated with them.

I'm waiting on Sandy to pick me up so we can go to Cheshire for Mass and our usual Becket's feast day stuff.

Vinny and Chris

Went to the lodge with Chris and Vinny met us there. We had a nice time and I just got home. Tomorrow Chris will be meeting me and Roseann and Carol Cleracuzio and who knows else, at the diner at 12:30. I invited Vinny but he probably won't come.

There was an accident in front of work this morning. A young lady and her boyfriend/husband and baby got hit by an SUV. Luckily the baby was on the opposite side from where it hit and it hit the back panel so no one was injured. They went to the hospital to get checked out though. Their car was totaled.

Slept

Anthony picked me up from work and gave  me a ride home. As soon as I got in the house, I went upstairs and laid down and didn't get up until after 9 p.m. I'm heading back to sleep now. Bleh!

A wonderful Christmas day

It really was. I finished up making stuff to bring to Karla's just as Diana was coming to get me. Her father drove us and we got to Karla's early. Big Carla and JP were there and Michael and his girlfriend, Catherine and her two little ones. The house was filled with children and presents and food. I got presents too.

Then Diana and Big Mike went to pick up the guys. Their flight was delayed in Detroit so they got in later than expected. When they came in they ate and then the flurry of real presents started. Oh my God -- I got presents. My son gave me a goofy mug -- shaped like a prescription bottle for coffee and a chocolate bar and a bath pampering set but most beautiful of all was a wall thing with a beautiful poem about mother. I cried. Couldn't help it.

Sammy bought gifts for everyone and made sure they were special to each person. She got me Dr. Who chocolates!! Three Tardis's and three Daleks and they're amazing.

Diana and James got me a really nice fragrance diffuser and Carla and JP got me snowman dishtowels.

I didn't expect a shower of gifts and am so touched.

Christmas at Karla's, with all the kids all over the place, is how Christmas should be. I am blessed to have such a wonderful family.

New Pope

Watching the Mass and being filled with the Spirit. I went to a service with Rita and Tony and Jeff and John but didn't participate in the communion. I didn't feel comfortable and didn't want to drink the koolaid. Other than that it was very nice.

Spent the day making appetizers to bring to Lindsey's and have to do the same for Karla's tomorrow.

We ate up Lindsey's and Tony's not going to help me out with the transmission like he said he would. If I had known I wouldn't have put a hold on it. I'm hoping they'll let me do a layaway thing.

New band

So there's a hopefully up-and-coming band, called Home Free, that I am loving on a show called The Sing Off. Eddy saw them in Minnesota so they do tour. I want to see them. They're Country but modern and a capella and great. And Jewel -- oh how I love Jewel. She's so sweet and talented and wonderful. She's a judge on the show.

Put a used transmission on hold at Daddio's. I hope Tony's going to pay for it like he said he would and I can pay him $100 every other week until it's paid for. Carlton says he knows a few guys in Bridgeport that might be able to put it in for cheap.

We're getting out at 12:30 tomorrow so Judy's going to give me a ride home because the rest of the campus, including Carlton, will be getting out at 2.

I can't believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve already. The last night for my annual novena. I love that novena.

Sound of Music

I really should watch it. I've never seen it. I know all the music but never had an interest in the movie. It's on now and probably halfway over and I'm sucked into it.

I accomplished a bit today. Rice Krispie treats, nut cups and sugar cookies. Not bad. Rita took me to get the rest of the stuff I need so I'll be doing more tomorrow after work if I'm not exhausted and the rest Tuesday, Christmas Eve. We're eating at Lindsey's and I'm bringing a mess of stuff.

The nut cups came out great. I misplaced Aunt El's recipe so I found a different one on Pinterest. I like the way it's done but the filling isn't as good as Aunt El's.

Saturday

Went to the Elks last night in half an hour with Chris and had a nice time. She's having a party at her house on the 4th.

I walked down to the post office -- it was so warm today that I had to take my coat off while I walked. Ugh!

Then I waited most of the day for Tony or Rita to take me shopping so I could start baking. We did find that Daddio's has a transmission for my Jeep for $425ish and Tony said he'd buy it and I could pay him $50/week. So I'll call them on Monday to see what we can do. Then we'll need to find someone to put it in for cheap.

Decided to walk to Shop Rite since Rita said she'd take me after nine. I told her that would be way too late. I can't spend my life waiting. I didn't say that to her but that's what it's like around here. They say they're going to do something and it never happens. The chicken she was supposed to cook in the beginning of the week is now rotting in the fridge.

So I walked down, which was no big deal. But I called Roseann for a ride home so I could get all the stuff I needed to get. Then I came home and made the brownies with the peanut butter cups. I feel like I accomplished some little thing.

Biblical law

Found this interesting and humorous. Hopefully if I put it here, I'll remember where it is if I want to find it again. LOL!!

http://www.11points.com/Books/11_Things_The_Bible_Bans,_But_You_Do_Anyway

My kids

Talked to both of them a little bit today. Miss them both so much. Don't miss all of us fighting but I do miss them so very much.

Bob bought us nasty pizza today from Eli's. Why the hell pizza places need to cover pizza in Parmesan, I can't even fathom. But the thought was there.

Went to an alderman meeting with Laura, Joel and Antonino. It was really interesting and it was Anita's first as mayor. Tommy was there and asked if he can run a road race like they do in New York next New Year's Eve with proceeds going to one of the sports programs at the Middle School or High School. Laura offered the help of the Cultural Commission and he asked me personally to help. Of course I will!

Some young not so bright person stood up and asked that the name of Sodom Lane be changed to something else. Oh brother!

New Pope and Hillary

He made Time Magazine's Man of the Year. He believes in not judging. He rides the bus and makes his own phone calls. He tweets and takes selfies. And I need to go back to church.

And Hillary Clinton is talking to Barbara Walters and I like her very much right now. I want to read more about her. She wants to live a life of integrity and service. She wants to feel that she's made a contribution. I like her.

More snow

So we went to the casino and I ate a lot but didn't win a thing. That's ok. We had a great time. We did leave at 7 a.m. to beat the snow. Just made it in.

Work got out early so I'm hoping there's either a delay or no work tomorrow.

Chris wants to go out to the Elks Friday. We're going to meet Pattie Degnan there too. We'll have fun.

My Pino would have loved this snow. God I still miss him so much.

Stuff

I was thinking, as I often do, of how much I miss my mother and how much I should have asked her and talked to her about and how I'll never have that chance. I never thanked her for being such a great mom or for being there for me all the time. I never asked how she and Daddy met. Or what her dreams were growing up. Or if her life turned out at all like she wanted it to be. I was so self-centered that I never asked any of that. I always thought we'd take her here and there with us and we never did because I figured she wouldn't want to go. I never asked. And looking back I know she would have loved doing anything at all with us and I would have loved her being with us. I'm so sorry.

Bitchin day

It snowed today -- it's still snowing. But the accumulation isn't a lot. It does look nice though.

Rita's brakes are gone so now I'm pretty much screwed. I don't know how I'm supposed to get to work if they don't get the brakes fixed before I have to go back.

I made Mrs. Iac cookies and brownies with peanut butter cups and then I got grumpy. No one eats around here. I don't know.

I ended up making pork chops so that was good. Sandy is bitching because we've got another storm headed in and we're supposed to go to the casino Monday overnight. Instead of getting bent we should just not go. But she can't reschedule if she changes the day again. It was a free room so I don't see what the big deal is. Whatever. I guess we'll be going.

Got my Tokmas gift -- a disappearing Tardis mug, a box of smokey tea and a pair of Tardis hair bows. Awesome!!

Tomorrow the snow comes

Wish Pino could be here to run around in it if it's what they say it's going to be. Maybe he asked it to be sent? I am missing him so much.

Snow

Snow. I love snow. Mommy loved snow. Pino absolutely loved snow. I'm grateful that his last few winters had enough snow to make him happy. There's snow on the ground from the other day and I keep thinking how he would have loved running through it. I miss him so much. I know in my heart that I did the right thing but it still feels like murder to me. Will he ... has he ... forgiven me? Will I ever forgive myself? As long as he's there waiting for me and happy to see me when I die, I'll be ok.

Going up

My prayers are being answered a little at a time. Don't know what's going to happen with the Jeep but I gave Tony the key so he can have is guy look at it.

The landlord called and said I will be in by the first. He said he has no problem working with me about the security. I told him I'd have it paid in January.

Talked to Anthony tonight and I talk to Carol several times a week.

Snow day sort of

All schools but ours canceled this morning. But this morning wasn't bad. Then they decided to let us out at 11:30 after the snow wasn't bad. Kind of weird but ok. It did continue snowing in Derby but nothing bad.

Laura said the landlord said I can start moving stuff in. I asked her to find out when I'd have to pay because I'm obviously not ready now. I don't want to lose the apartment but with all the stuff that's come up, I don't know if I can go in right now. I was hoping for February first. She said she was going to have him call me.

Karla and Anthony

So Michael and his girlfriend are going to have a baby -- a boy. I'm happy for them. Hopefully this will ground him.

Speaking of grounding. I told Karla I hope she and Anthony get married someday. She thinks they will and hopefully soon. I hope so too. They a so good for each other.

Work tomorrow

Wondering why they called Bryce in at 6 p.m. because of snow. I don't have to drive in it -- my sister will drive me until I get a car. But there was tiny flurries for about three and half minutes when we came out of Walmart and that was it. Bryce was called in which means the state is expecting something. I can't find anything more than light snow on the weather sites. We'll see.

Anyway back to work tomorrow. I am going to have a ton of work orders to catch up on and probably reqs too. That's ok. That's what I get paid for.

I'm glad I'm finally feeling better.

Watching the new Bonnie and Clyde and I just can't seem to get into it.

To the Mall?

We're waiting on Tony to come back from the gym so we can go to the mall. I really don't need to go to the mall. I need to go to Walmart or something so I can pick up a few odds and ends to put in my TOKmas parcel that has to be mailed after work tomorrow.

If we don't get there, I'm screwed. It's now almost 4 p.m. We'll see.

Blah

Stayed home. Should be interesting at work. I hope they don't say anything bad to me.

Car is a goner. Went and got it and drove it back here. I'll see if I can see it for parts.

That's about it.

Car and still not well

I dragged myself out of bed and tried to go to work. Got as far as Warsaw Park when I figured I wasn't going to make it to work. There's something not good about the car. I forgot my phone at home so I had to call when I got back to the house. So I'm home sick and have a sick car. Brought it to John but he hasn't called yet to tell me what's wrong. Please God, don't let it be expensive. :(

Cosmic

Went to Cosmic. My car is acting up. I hope it's nothing unaffordable because I don't have money for this. It was supposed to be all fixed with the brakes and the belt.

Dan Rivera came to Cosmic and we all had some good discussions. I enjoyed tonight.

Sick with a cold

Stayed home today. Have a cold and a cough and and a headache. I'll probably stay home tomorrow too. Cosmic is tomorrow night. Hope I'll be able to go. Two days in bed should do it and make me better, no?

December is here

And I forgot to write something last night. I really would like to write something every single day. Oh well!

We did our own Thanksgiving yesterday. Rita and Tony invited Jeff, the guy I almost shot. Since he was sober, everything was really nice.

Tonight is a cooking thing at the library with Stacey. I really love those. Tonight she's doing holiday dips and spread.

End of November

November 2014. Will I always remember that that is when I killed my Pino? I hope so. I'm praying that December is a wonderful month.

Went to breakfast with Sandy and then ran to Target and here. That's it.

Tree lighting and my Pino

I picked up Sam this morning and we went to eat Chinese, then to Ocean State and then went to pick up my Pino's ashes. I can't believe he's nothing but a small tin of ashes. It hurts so much. I miss him terribly.

On a better note, the tree lighting was wonderful except that the mayor didn't show up and didn't even say he was sorry. He had a good reason - his brother's wedding rehearsal, but we didn't know about that until afterward. Just that he didn't bother showing up or letting us know. If we had enough advance notice we could have asked Anita to come up.

Chris and I met up with Patty Pandolfi (Degnan) and her husband and went to the Elks afterwards. Ronnie Culmo was there too. Another mini reunion.

Happy Thanksgiving

Rita and I made a few things. I totally killed the nut cups because the stove started smoking and we had to take them out early and I forgot how much longer they had. LOL!! But we made a few other things and went to Bryce's parents for dinner. They are very nice.

Just got back and am about to watch Lady Gaga's Thanksgiving special. I miss my Pino and I think I have to pick up his ashes tomorrow.

Death

Chris was looking at one of the Derby Facebook pages to find who the latest of our classmates is who died and I saw Tom Baliciano's name. He DIED. I guess because Yale cut his heart but I thought he was going to be ok. I didn't know. He died on the 20th and was buried today. I wish I had known so I could have gone to the wake. Rest in peace Tom.

Spent the evening with Chris and Vinny and had Vinny sign my yearbook. LOL!!

It was flurrying a little between the rain drops on my way home. I wonder it that means Mommy and Pino are thinking about me? I hope so.

Giving thanks

The storm wasn't ferocious. At least it wasn't here. It wasn't even as bad as that storm a few summers ago. Thank God!

And tonight is Valley New Year. I'm meeting Chris Gorzelany at the Elks. Vinny will probably show up too. Who would have thought, all those years ago, that I'd be hanging out with them? LOL!!!

Made the dough for nut cups and have two pumpkin pies baking in the oven. I love this time of year!!

Pino loved pumpkin pie. I miss him.

Ferocious storm coming

We're supposed to have downpours, strong winds, possible tornadoes tonight into tomorrow. It's only lightly raining now. Don't even need the wiper blades going full. I hope it peters out and travelers will have an easy trip.

Monday -- short week

Work flew by today and we only have another day and half or so to go. Then four days off!

My November tea swap came -- such wonderful things. Lots of tea, some wonderful stitch markers - one has an owl, a project bag with a little stitch marker bag, a mug with a knit mug warmer and a chocolate bar. YUM!

Lazy day

Ran to CVS and then came home. It's a Doctor Who marathon because it's the 50th anniversary.

Me and Ruffio have been sitting here watching tv. I've been working on my TOKMAS stuff. Little things but hopefully I'll have a lot. I found Pino's leash and have it on my shelf. I hung his choke chain on my rear view mirror. Every time I go downstairs I expect to see him there and he's not there. I'm having a hard time knowing it was me that made the decision to kill him. Saying "kill" is harsh but it's reality. I killed him. My baby Pino.

Have a cultural commission meeting at seven.

A little addendum. Rita and I went up to the attic. My box of stuff with the nun doll that Darlene game me and the journal from the antique store, are not up there. There are two rubbermaid containers with quilting stuff, which is good and there was a box of odds and ends with stuff that I thought was long gone. Rita also gave me the Last Supper painting that Allen did for Mommy. It was a paint by numbers but he worked months on it and it hung in the living room forever. Well for as long as they were there.

Anyway, I kind of slipped and my foot went between the beams and down through the bedroom ceiling. Tony didn't blow when I told him. I told him I'd pay for it. The hole is only around 25"x25" and shouldn't be hard to fix. I hope he doesn't pitch a fit when I'm not here. It was an accident.

Yvonne

Wow is she doing great. She looks great! A little thinner than before but she's walking with a walker and doing fantastic. All she has left to heal is one foot. What a difference from last time I saw her. I went up and spent a few hours with her catching up and drinking coffee.

Just now I had a passing thought that I need to call Allen and let him know I'm moving. My God!

Good day

Without my Pino but thinking of him. I miss him so much even though he's only been gone a day. Went to work and made it ok. Came home, took a shower and went to the Elks to meet up with Chris and Monica. Monica and I talked about the apartment and we'll do ok as roommates. But now we have to wait because the fire marshal says they have to build another set of stairs. That will help me but I hope Rita and Tony are ok with me being here another month.

Run Peeny Run

My sister and I brought my Pino to the vet's at three today and he went to forever sleep. I cuddled him the whole time until he was gone. Fifteen years he's been a major part of my life. He was my other son. He loved me unconditionally. He's in heaven now. I have to believe that. He's with Jesus jumping anr running in the snow. Oh how he loved the snow! Maybe he's with Mommy walking in the snow. She lived it too. He's with Allen eating Hostess cupcakes and having coffee. He's with Lou being petted and loved. I will miss him and love him always and forever.

Tomorrow

Oh my God. I don't know how I'm going to do this or make it through. Tomorrow I will be holding Pepino while they put him to sleep. Kill him. My baby Pino. I only hope and pray that I'll be able to live with myself. In my heart I believe it's the right thing. The vet says the same. I can't stand to let him suffer and howl and stuff anymore. I hope Allen will be there with Hostess cupcakes for him. I'm so heart-broken.

Room mate?

Looks like Monica, Laura's mom, and I will be roommates. So far I don't see why not. Even if we're squished, it will still be good to have another person around and definitely to share the expenses. I like her and I think it will work. I'm going to try and see the place tomorrow. The landlord told Laura and Joel I can start moving in. If Monica will be sharing the cost of security AND first month's rent, I'll do it. If not, I'll have to wait a little. Laura is getting paid to clean the place tomorrow. I'm excited about this.

Pino -- I'm so grateful for my baby boy dog. I'm also afraid he's on his way to Heaven. He's been acting horribly this week. He's peed in the house several times and he's been howling and he's losing so much weight and the fur off the tip of his tail and his cheekbones are sharp. I don't want him to die. I don't want him to suffer. I will not have him killed.

Monday, Monday

I like Mondays. I like every day. God is good to me. I'm grateful for all the good things and people in my life.

My day

Grateful for my life. It really has been good in spite of how I sometimes feel. Grateful that my Pino is still here and grateful for my little Ruffio. Grateful that I'm getting along with my sister and Tony.

Going to Thanksgiving dinner at Bryce's family. I may be repeating myself but this will be the first Thanksgiving I've spent with my sister in years and years.

Went to buy a washing machine with Roseann and Anita and then went to Biagettis for supper and then Roseann's for birthday cake for Anita.

Of course I Facebooked Carol to wish her a happy birthday. Can't remember if I called her or not. Wow am I pathetic.

Four years

Four years ago he left without a goodbye to me. I still miss him so much. I miss not having been allowed to say goodbye. Not being allowed to talk with him while he was still alert enough to talk. No closure. It hurts.

Today was a busy day. I went to two church Christmas fairs with Sandy and then we went to the Humprey's House for open hearth day. I worked the gift shop until 4 and then helped clean up. Then I went directly to the Elks to help with the blind veteran's dinner. Then came home to Rita's.

I wasn't even here 10 minutes when Terry came over and Rita and Tony just now are getting her home. She's a bit wasted by my God. At least now I know why she was always messed up. From the time she was 9 until she was 11 -- three years of her young life, her older brother molested her. And now she's had bouts of cancer and now has a malignant growth in her breast. God help her. She's still the beautiful little girl but now grown up and hurting so much. And she's saying she doesn't want to get a mastectomy and is accepting what comes.

Don't ever forget

This prayer:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Thomas Merton

I'm still at work but am going home afterward to take care of the animals and to take a shower. Then I hope to eat something and I'll meet up with Chris down at the Elks. It will be nice to do that again.

And tomorrow is four years since Allen died. And a bit of me died with him.

Could have been a bad day

But it was averted. Pino peed when Tony was alone with the dogs but Tony's ok now.

Laura texted me and said the tenants moved their bed out today. That means I'll be in soon. I'm going to ask if I can go in on the first rather than before. That will give me a few more days to get money together. I'm relying on God for the money because I can't get it myself, that's for sure.

I'm grateful that Pino is still with me! And Ruffio too. Ruffio has fleas and the poor thing has never been out of this room in two months. Geez! $40.00 for Frontline and it better work!

I'm grateful that I'll have my own place soon and I'll be able to afford it.

Missing Lou

It snowed yesterday morning and she's not here for me to call and tease. I posted our snow globe picture on Facebook instead. I believe in God and Jesus and Heaven. I know she's there with Allen and Mommy and Daddy. But I wish there was a way.......

Did I mention that Allena left me a voicemail and called me Monkey Butt yesterday on her third birthday? I miss her so much.

Grateful for having had her in my life. Grateful  my Pino is still with me. Grateful for every day that I come 'home' to Rita's house and there's no tension or problems. Grateful for God and the fact that He's taking care of me. He's listening to me and hearing me. Grateful for Fr. McGivney and the saints who hear my prayers.

I don't care

I watched Jesus Christ Superstar the other night when it was on tv and posted on Facebook about it and the fact that I have a dvd of Allen and Tim singing it. Andy came on and commented to me asking how many times I heard the three of them singing it together. And this was my reply to him today:

I can't count the times. I was blessed to be allowed to be part of your family for the time you all let me. Losing that was almost as devastating as losing him for me. But I'll never forget what there was and I'll always be grateful.

So let whoever reads that think what they want. I don't care.

Today I'm grateful for having had that. I'm grateful that Pino's not peeing all over and that the meds are working. I'm grateful my car is working. I'm grateful for the voicemail I got from Laney Bug calling me a Monkey Butt.

Holiday options

I was going to go wherever Karla and Diana are going for Thanksgiving. But Tony and Rita invited me to go to Bryce's family's house with them. And then Roseann called and invited me there for Thanksgiving and for Christmas Eve. I thanked Roseann and told her no. I can't go either day but I sure would love to!

And I decided that I'm better off this year staying down here so I'll go with Rita and Tony and leave the option for Roseann's if that falls through.

Tonight I cooked a pork roast, broccoli rabe and crashed hot potatoes. YUM!!

Full day

Went to Peggies for breakfast and helped her put plastic on her windows and blow dry them to shrink the plastic. Then we went to Savers and The Christmas Tree Shop and then back to her house for seafood pasta.

Now I'm at Rita's watching Jesus Christ Superstar. Looked up Ted Neeley and found some interesting information including, On March 9, 2004 Ted sang the soliloquy Why Must I die? from the Garden of Gethsemane scene in J C Superstar at the memorial service for Carl Anderson (Judas, JCS). I can't even imagine how moving that was.

Very good day

I like when I can write that. Very good day. Very good day.

Went out with Sandy to some church holiday fairs and it pretty much kicked off the season. I started knitting for my TOKMAS swap -- actually a little crochet -- tiny snowflakes. And I went to Shoprite and bought a 10 pound pork loin that I'm going to cut off a roast for here at Rita's and the rest will be cut up and frozen for my new place.

I bought a card and some temporary tattoos for Allena for her birthday. Wish I had money to send her a real gift.

Then Anthony came and got me and we went to Karla's for supper. Diana, James and Lea were there also. And of course my Sammy Dove. Karla made a fest -- barbecued beef ribs, homemade cole slaw with homemade dressing, a mashed potato casserole, appetizers and then we had cheesecake and panetone to celebrate Anthony making hard hat. He's going back tomorrow and will be back here on Thanksgiving.

And I ended the night with Rita dying my hair.

So it was a very good day.

Oh yes, stopped to see John about the new noise my car is making. He fixed it. Sort of. It lasted until I got a mile or so away and I didn't have time to turn back. It's nothing serious so I'll bring it back after work on Monday. There was no charge and hopefully no charge Monday.

So I'm grateful that my Pino is still with me and my car is still working. I'm grateful that I got to see my son and family. I'm grateful I have Ruffio. And I'm grateful that I want to have a relationship with my sister and am trying to keep things as calm as possible.

Another good day

My car works. My dog is alive. I came 'home' and there's no tension. What more can I ask right now?

There's a horrible hurricane that hit the Phillipenes and I don't know how the people will live through this. That's an island, I think and the winds were 248 mph. God help them all.

I'm going to the Newtown movie theater with Peggie -- whatever is playing is free. LOL!!

I'm grateful that Yvonne is improving daily. She's learning to do stairs with help. How wonderful is that??

I'm grateful that God will take care of my money situation and that He's always taking care of me

Anthony called. He's going to pick me up after I get back from going out with Sandy tomorrow and we're going to Karla's for supper.

Went to the movies and partly watch We Are The Millers. It would have been a good movie except I had to stop watching two thirds of the way through because of a freaking spider.

Computer lagging

I don't know what's the matter today but this thing is not letting some pages come up. Normal ones. I think I'll clean it up and restart it.

Today was a normal day. All things ok, thank God. It's raining and autumn in New England in the rain is so beautiful.

I'm grateful that I came here and there's no bad words or negativity. Grateful my car is still running and my dog is still alive. I'm grateful for my job and my life. :)

More gratitude

Pino is still good. I worry about him all the time now that he's 15.
My car is still fine although it's squealing differently.
I came to Rita's house all worried as usual and things were good. I still can't wait to move out though.

Can't remember if I wrote this last night, but Anita won the mayoral election. She's our first woman mayor. And Mark won town clerk. Now that I think of it, I think I might have wrote that already.

Gratitude and a new mayor

I keep forgetting. I should put at least one thing a day that I'm grateful for. Today is that my car is in working condition again and I don't have to worry about it for a few years.

Also that Pino is still with me and I still have a job.
My pay hasn't been attached yet.

Dr. Anita beat Tony tonight and is now the first woman to be elected mayor of Derby. I just wish Marc hadn't have won the election for town clerk. We just might be screwed there.

Remembering

I remember back years ago when I started writing stuff in here that I was going to put things I'm grateful for. Put something good that happened each day. How could I forget to do that?

I'd been doing novenas and one of the things I've asked for is financial freedom. Not riches or anything but just having the money I need for necessities like living expenses - being able to afford my needs and having a few dollars left over for fun/wants.

Well I believe this whole mess with Rita and Tony is part of my answered prayers. After the initial security and first month's rent, I should be well able to manage what I need to and also pay on the bankruptcy lawyer and have a few dollars left for me.

And still God watches over me. Over the weekend, for the first in a very, very long time, I had little winnings with instant lottery tickets and was able to buy some extra groceries and stuff. I checked the losers today and had $11 in tickets. Bought three more and won $50. Bought the usual and lost $19 but I'm ahead and have money for the Milestone. Also I got a check for $14 in the mail for one of those settlement things.

God IS good.

Sunday

Did laundry today and made chicken taquitos. That's all I did! Talked to Anthony. That's it.

Busy day

Went to Southbury with Sandy and picked up a few things in the consignment and thrift shops. Had the Jeep fixed -- $507 that I can't afford but God will provide. Now I should be good for awhile -- he changed the belt, did an oil change and fixed my brakes.

Baked an apple caramel swirl cake - from a mix. And am vegging out.

My Carol really thinks I will go to Florida for her wedding. I told her honestly that there's no way in hell I will step foot in a southern state or a tropical place. It would never work.

It was so warm today that right now I have one window open and the fan on low in the other.

It's after midnight

Just got home from a great night with Chris Gorzelany. We went to the Derby-Wolcott game, met up with Tommy and a bunch of other people and watched the game. Then she and I went down the Elks and later Vinny Greco and Frankie Romano came down and we talked away the night. What a good time.

Funny -- my first crush from when I was 12 was at the game, Phil. Thank God he never knew about me and Colleen. LOL!!

Dropped the Jeep off at the garage today after work. Hopefully it's repairable and not going to cost me an arm and a leg.

Got it

I talked to the landlord, Rich, and he said I could have the apartment. I need one month security and pro rate whatever's left of the month I move in. I should be able to move in before Thanksgiving, he said. He said the tenants have to leave the 15th or 16th and then he'll go in and clean up. He said Pino and Ruffio are both welcome. Laura says there's enough room for my bike and the freezer and the dryer. I'm nervous but excited and I'll be right next to them so I won't feel alone.

Went to Roseann's and we watched Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey, Jr. Very good!! We had pizza and Anita's peanut butter pie. Yum!

Hope

Laura and Joel are such great people. They had me call their landlord, Rich about the apartment next to them that he's trying to get people out of. He called me back and said it's tiny and only has a shower. I don't care about that. It's $900/month with utilities included. THAT is great. Not sure about Pino yet, I have to check the stairs. And it will be right next to Laura and Joel and they will be family. I don't want to be isolated and alone.

Is life good?

I try to keep an upbeat attitude but this is getting ridiculous. Now I get a call from Rita that Pino threw up and we have to talk. What the fuck is there to talk about? Why didn't I just take Peggie's apartment? I should have known that this wouldn't be easy. I was supposed to be in the apartment a month ago. I'm not killing my dog so what other options are there? He's not feeling well. I wish he could do stairs because I could get the place above the Historical Society today and for only $500 and that includes all utilities.

Will there ever be a time when I'm able to live in peace?;
;Well things aren't goign to work out between the three of us so I have to oleave. WTF? I've been asked to leave even before I get into the apatment. And it's lies. It's alwayus lies.
'
My heart hurts so much. It's family and it's wrong I really do feel like I want to die

Stupid

Why do I left myself believe things are ok when they really aren't ever.First I get Rita bitching because THEY left the toilet seat up and Pino drank and then wet himself. And it's sooooo unsanitary, etc., etc., etc. While at the same time she has her dogs who use newspaper in the kitchen AND the male dog uses the legs of the table and the side of the recliner that's in the kitchen that reeks so badly of dog pee that you taste it in your food if you eat in the kitchen.

Then Sam tells me her and Jake and his mom are going to the Rhode Island Comic Con for the weekend. I wanted to go so badly and  she knew it and they don't ask me. Why do I let myself care so badly that I'm crying?

Next year the three of them can go to NY themselves and I'll go whatever day they're not going. I'm too stupid and let myself fall into the lie of believing that I matter when in reality I don't. It gets proven over and over and over again.

I'll figure out how to be happy doing things by myself. I was foolish enough to think that Sam might want to do some more stuff together, especially after this weekend.

Fuck it.

Later: When I got home she didn't say anything and obviously Pino hadn't puked anymore. I don't want to be down or depressed or negative. Got to try harder. Things will work out with her, with Sam, with everything. God does listen to my prayers.

Laura and Joel and Laura's mom, Monica and I went to Eric's service. What a nice service it was and his aunt and sister are so broken up but happy that he had so many friends. I'm so glad I went. He was cremated and his ashes are going to be secretly scattered in a place he absolutely loved.

Haunted Tours done

The past week has been very hectic with getting read for the tours. We spent Thursday and Friday night either rehearsing or getting ready - stuffing bags with candy for today and things. Both nights we spent hours in the opera house. I love that place.

The tour last night went well except for a few glitches. I think it was a good start for our edition of the cultural commission. Samantha wants to join us. She definitely loved the opera house and hanging with our crew. She'll be helping out with all our future stuff.

One of the tour groups that came through had Dr. Davis' granddaughter in it. I didn't realize he was a naturopathic doctor!! No wonder everything worked with him. She said the powders he gave us had belladonna in them. Amazing!

The kids' fright 'night' went really well. Sam definitely likes helping with our stuff. Diana brought the girls and Karla brought Kayla and pictures from when she used to hang out with Laura. Oh how young they were.

Eric died. The Concerned Fisherman and our cultural commission member. He was only 45 and I was just texting with him on Monday. What a shock that was. Joel wants the commission to have a plaque made and put on the bench on the Green that Eric always sat on. We've suffered a loss. Eric was a good guy.

Missed a day

Forgot to write last night but really, what's to write about?? I got to just sit home and that was that.

Tonight we did the walk through for the Haunted Derby Tour and ate pizza in the Opera House. I love that place. That's it.

Cancer sucks

Did I mention that Denise's breast cancer is back and she might get a double mastectomy? I hate cancer. Met Laura, Joel and Antonino down on the green for the breast cancer luminary thing. It was very moving. Tommy was there and had bought a luminary for Liz's daughter. She's something like 30 and pregnant and they found she has cancer. A huge mass in her colon. They're going to take the baby out in a week or two so they can operate and stuff on her. The baby is 7 months along so we'll pray that it's safe.

Met up with Brian Gallo there and bought his Valley Pink calendar with the CT Sirens and antique cars. It's for a good cause but I told him he needs a male version of the Sirens!

Got my Reclast infusion today. My blood pressure was 112/66 and I weighed myself when I got home and am 132 pounds. I think those numbers are good.

A new week

Received my autumn card from my October card swap. I have to remember to put it on Ravelry tomorrow night.
Nothing really going on.

Sox win!

And they're going to be in the World Series again. How odd. I just thought of this -- last time they won the Series was a long haul -- 20 years, I think. And I was living over here at the apartment. Now they're going to try again and I'll be living at the apartment again and watching it.

Cooked stuffed artichokes, stuffed mushrooms and deviled eggs. I was in a stuffy mood, I guess. Peggie called and invited me to go to Savers with her. I got four more tops so I may be all set now for winter clothes.

An alpaca and a dog

We went to Tea with Tracy's this morning. Seymour was doing some mini festival and one woman had an alpaca and a giant Great Pyronese dog. I fell in love with both of them!!!

We only did the play one time tonight. I really enjoyed doing this.

This will probably come up as Sunday, 10/20 but it's really what I did on Saturday. I'm editing this a little after midnight because I just got back from the Elks. Antonino texted me and asked why I don't come down. They were having their Halloween party and Timmy was there too. I knew Peggie was there so I figured why not. It's been awhile since I've been down for anything. So I sat a little with Peggie but mostly stayed and talked with Lina. I met Antonino's mother, who called me Rosalia. It's been so long since anyone called me that. I love it! She's very Italian but looks to young to have a 25 year old. Lillian, of course, was there too. I had a good evening.

The play's the thing. LOL!!

Well I agonized all day for nothing. I taped my lines to the front of my bible so I could get away with reading them. But just about everyone had the script and was reading from it. I still messed up -- talked all halting and unnatural , but I did it without losing my place or screwing up. One more show tomorrow night. Then next weekend is the Haunted Derby tour. Sam is going to do that with us too.

Then I got home and Anthony called. He got his white hat. That is some kind of promotion and it took James six months to get his. Anthony got it in three. I'm so proud of him!!

Thursday

Tomorrow is the lantern plan on the Riverwalk. Ugh! I do not have my lines memorized. I'm thinking of carrying a bible and having cheater cards inside. That should work.

This day

I slept great last night, thank God. Rufio was sleeping next to me most of the night and didn't decide it was time to play!

Went to rehearsal at no ... Don't know what I was going to say because this was from the other day and I forgot to publish it. LOL!!

Busy day

Work. Here to take out Pino and take care of Ruffio. Grocery store for olives -- ran into Roseann & Anita and talked a bit. Back here to make macaroni salad for pickie day. Back here to make the macaroni salad. Took Pino out again. Fried up a pan of shaved pork and ate two sandwiches. Now I'm sitting here relaxing. Yeah!

Stayed home

Was up half the night again between not being able to sleep and Ruffio not letting me sleep. So I called out at work and went back to bed.

Meeting tonight for the Haunted Derby tour. Duke is going to help us out which will be great.

On a roll

St. Anthony has been shoving stuff in my face today. Thing's I'd misplaced and asked to find, didn't find but didn't worry because I knew they were here in the room somewhere. Just accidentally found the boxes of checks and my spare bottle of vitamin D pills. Yeah! LOL!!

Spent time after work putting together the Halloween mini swap. That's all done and can be mailed off tomorrow. Tonight I'm relaxing for the first time in a long time and just watching tv.

They've been painting the apartment and fixing it up. I should be in around the beginning of the month providing I can pay Yankeegas the little I still owe them.

Another good day

Spent most of the day home knitting and watching tv. Might be going to see Janis Joplin on Broadway next month with Monica, Laura's mom. I'm dying to see it and she wants to go to. Have to check dates.

This day

I slept great last night, thank God. Rufio was sleeping next to me most of the night and didn't decide it was time to play!

Went to rehearsal at noon and it went pretty well. I'm going to have to see if I can memorize my parts. They gave me a shirt and pants to wear since I'm being Uncle Wooster and they have to find me a vest.

Then I went to the art studio to meet the others for supper. Laura cooked us ziti and we had garlic bread. Yum! Then we went shopping for costumes. I realized that Luisia tossed hundreds of dollars of my garb -- all my pirate stuff is gone too. So I got a pirate wench costume at Savers and we went to Goodwill and a couple of those Halloween stores.

It was a good day all in all.

Derby High School

Rufio kept me up most of the night. Around 3:30 a.m. I grabbed him and stuck him in the carrying crate so I could sleep. Then I had to get up at 6. UGH!!!!!!!!!!

After work I went to Peggie's for supper and then we went to the Derby-Ansonia game. Derby lost 28-62 but they played fantastic and it was a good fight.

Now I'm going to sleep. I hope.

New York, New York

Rode the train to NYC today with Sam, her friend Jake, and Jake's mom, Denise. What a great day I had. Comicon was fun but next year I go when there's actually people there. I bought a Dr. Who tshirt and some tea but other than that, nothing much. But I did have fun and it's a lot easier getting to and from the Javits Center than I thought. Too bad I have to work in the morning. Ugh!

Meeting night

Had a Cultural Committee meeting tonight. Also told Sam I'd meet her at the train station Thursday morning. They'll be coming in from Naugatuck.

Library

Worked as usual and then went to Stacy's food thing at the library. We learned to make different sauces -- bechemal, mornay, a wine sauce and an Asian mushroom sauce. Yum!! I love the cooking demos!

Loooong day

Went to Shelton Day with Sandy for an hour or so and then down to O'Sullivan's Island and the Riverwalk for four or five hours of rehearsal for Legends by Lantern. It was fun and it's so beautiful there and Jeri (Blackheart Jenny) and her husband, Ned are in it too so it was nice hanging with them. They're going to do the Haunted Derby tour with us too. That will be fun!

Good day

Ruffio is tolerating his cone and I don't know if it's the cone or the effects of the surgery, but he hasn't tried biting or scratching me yet. He's finally allowing my wounds to heal a little before he starts up again! LOL!!

I went to Adams and got three small pork loins, a pork shoulder and a rack of ribs and a butternut squash and a 12 pack of seltzer -- all for $49.09. Got to love good sales!

Then Sandy and I went to the Ansonia Harvest Festival and then Duchess. The day was a bit on the warm side -- a real Indian summer day but nice anyway.

I got the electricity turned on at the apartment this morning and still own $200 on the old gas bill but will try to get that turned on and maybe payment arrangements set up on Monday.

And now

Duke wants to give me a female role -- a bigger role. I can't even memorize the few lines he already gave me!!! I'll have to refuse. I'm afraid I'd really screw up.

I went to see Dr. Jagadeesh after work. It's so nice to be back with her. I'm 136 pounds -- not that good but it could be worse. Then I picked up Kayla and went to Naugatuck. Saw my Anthony -- he's really grumpy today and picked up Ruffio. Poor Ruffio -- I had to get a cone for him to wear so he won't bother his stitches.

Ruffio

Missing him already and it's only for one night. Geez! Sam and Karla came to get him and him and The Mayor go in for neutering in the morning. Then later Karla will bring him back and I'll pick up Kayla from therapy.

Last night Sarah, our usual waitress was back at the Milestone. It was wonderful to have her. I talked to her about Sam and she might be interested in having her babysit. She lives close to Sam. So I gave Sam her number today.

I started the chameleon that Carol wants me to crochet for Allena.

Went to Maureen Marren's wake. She was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer on Wednesday and died Saturday. I HATE cancer! Tomorrow night is Red Clynch's wake. Too many people dying!

Anthony is coming home tonight for two weeks again. I'll see him on the weekend, I hope.

Missed another day

I'm getting worse instead of better. Let's see -- we had a Cultural Commission meeting last night. City Hall is giving us all kinds of grief expecting us to personally take money out of our pockets to buy stuff and then get reimbursed. That's not going to happen!!

They did tell us we are in charge of the Opera House and should have the keys. It will be interesting to see how they get them from Rich.

It looks like the apartment is now empty but Rita hasn't said anything. I'm hoping she doesn't expect me to start paying rent (I am giving her $100/week board right now) until there's a refrigerator and hot water. I can use the extra month of not paying rent so I can pay off (I hope) the gas bill.

Tonight is Cosmic. I always look forward to that.

History

Went to the library (met up with Laura, Joel and Antonio) to see the research head of the CT Historical Society speak. Very interesting! We want to do a road trip up there to their place!

And Rufio will be going in for neutering on Friday. Karla is going to come get him on Thursday night. I'll miss him!!!!!

Beautiful

I love this prayer. My friend Katherine Burgess posted it on her Facebook and I want to keep it where I can find it.

O Lord,
grant that I may meet the coming day in peace.
Help me in all things
to rely upon Thy Holy Will.
In every hour of the day,
reveal Thy will to me.
Bless my dealings with all who surround me.
Teach me to treat all that comes to me
throughout the day with peace of soul,
and with the firm conviction that Thy will governs all.
In all my deeds and words,
guide my thoughts and feelings.
In unforeseen events, let me not forget
that all are sent by Thee.
Teach me to act firmly and wisely,
without embittering and embarrassing others.
Give me the strength to bear the fatigue
of the coming day with all that it shall bring.
Direct my will.
Teach me to pray.
Pray Thou Thyself in me.
Amen.

Philaret of Moscow

Missed a few days

I forget to post when nothing is going on. Yesterday I went out on a usual Saturday with Sandy. We went to Outback and Walmart. Then I went to Peggie's for a cookout. Stayed a few hours and came home. Today I went back to Peggie's to help clean up and eat again. And that was my weekend.

How could I forgot to have mentioned that Sam and I are going to Comicon!! We're going on Thursday, October 10th (Daddy's birthday) and its a day when no one will be there but we're going. Next year we'll go on a better day!

Alderman meeting

Met Laura and Joel and Antonino at the meeting. Laura gave a little report on the commission and asked for permission for the haunted Derby tour and kid's fright fest and we got it.

I wish

If this could only be true:

You are a piece of the puzzle of someone else's life.
You may never know where you fit,
but others will fill the holes in their life with pieces of you.
--Bonnie Arbon

Stephen King

He has a sequel to The Shining out. That's the kind of King I love. I'll have to remember to put it on my to be read list at FictFact and Goodreads.

Cultural Commission meeting tonight. Then John Zaffis tomorrow night, Board of Aldermen on Thursday, MEATO on Friday and Peggie's on Saturday evening. YIKES! I am going to veg out all day on Sunday. I really am!

Library thing

Went to the library tonight - met up with Laura and Joel and Antonino from the Cultural Commission to see the CT Soul Seekers. They were pretty good but made us wonder a bit how real their stuff is.

A full day

I went to buy stuff for lunches and I did my laundry. Then I went to Peggie's for lunch and to see a movie. While we were outside, a young woman came out of her house with two little ones and called my name. It was Anna Brinkmann, Mariana's daughter. She lives right across the street from Peggie and Mariana lives next door. How wild is that?

Then we had a Cultural Commission meeting but what we did was pretty much clean most of the basement of the Art's Council studios. What a moldy mess!

All in all it was a really good day!

My day so far

Sandy went to the casino with her brother so I was free to putter around today. Rita got the bikes last night and there were a few bins -- not my memory stuff, of course. A little bit of Christmas stuff and some books. That was it. So I condensed that stuff this afternoon.

I got up early and went to the post office, Target, Big Y and Stop and Shop -- just got some odds and ends and Kayla's Mario Brothers for her Wii. I also went to My Sister's Place and got three pairs of slacks and a top for work for $14.00. Went to the consignment store in Seymour but they didn't have anything I could use. Went to Tea with Tracy's and got a tea for the swap and an apple torte and some clotted cream for me to snack on later. When I got back here I made a chicken salad from a rotisserie chicken and I put chopped Craisens in it -- delicious!

Now, unless Peggie calls to go to the movies, I'm settled for the rest of the afternoon and evening. She wanted to go to Newtown but is now cleaning her house so she'll call me around 5:30 to see.

And the rest...

Peggie and I went down the lodge and had a hot dog and then went to see the funniest movie I've seen in years and years -- The Heat with Melissa McCarthy (Hysterical!) and Sandra Bullock (always awesome). Then back to the Elks for a club soda and then I came home. We had a great time. Somehow I agreed to helping her move stuff around in her house tomorrow and then tomorrow night. Next weekend she's having her cookout and we're going to see The Conjuring. She invited me to go to Vermont for her time share week Thanksgiving week. I'm not sure I want to do that -- I'd like to spend the day with some of my family and then the next day is the tree lighting. Maybe I'll tell her I can't get off -- that other people are off that week.

A good day

Work was good - it usually is. I was awake at 5:30 this morning and am still not exhausted yet. Which is good.

Rita said Luisa called and bitched her out and wants the dryer out and she told her to talk to her son and hung up on her. I do not EVER want to see her or hear her again. I don't care what she has of mine. I can't believe still that she got rid of my clothes and memory boxes. Whatever!

Yvonne called me this morning because it's talk like a pirate day. LOL!! She's sounding so great!

Wow. Just wow.

First the locksmith at work tells me he met my late ex-husband's wife's son. Apparently Justin is going to school at SCSU and how that conversation came about, I can't even guess. Something about ren faires and the Valley and oh my God! Total WEIRDNESS!

Then I get home and Rita's all upset. She stopped to see Luisa today. Luisa got rid of all my stuff. Sold or gave away everything. I have no clothes for work for fall/winter. I have no memory boxes and no Christmas stuff -- all my Christmas memories and ornaments, etc. are gone. My bike with the tags still on it and Sam's bike. Everything. All of it. Except for the dryer. And she's saying that Anthony and Carol are pigs and she has to have the place fumigated, etc., etc., etc.

I'm only relieved that it's over and I never have to see her again. And I'm thinking I'll live in my car before I ever rent from someone again. I live with family or I live in my car. That's it.

And Rita talked to Luisa and to Freddy and I really don't want to see or talk to either of them. They had to call Pro Clean? Oh fucking well! I don't live in scum. My house was clean. They don't like it too bad. The only part that probably wasn't was under the stove because I forgot to get under there. I cleaned every frigging thing in that place except outside window sills. What the fuck does she expect. I really hope she had to spend ten times the security deposit because she's fucking nuts.

Guess I missed a day

Wow! Slacking again. But it would be the same thing over and over for the most part. My stuff is still at Luisa's. I still don't have the balls to go up there and still never want to see her again and Rita's still not going like she said she would and Tony's still being Tony.

Other than that, the new season's tv shows have started and I watched Bones and Sleepy Hollow last night
 I'm loving Sleepy Hollow right now. Dave Mouch will be a tour guide again this year for the Haunted Derby tour and I got Sam to help too.

I'm working on a tea swap and a mini Halloween swap and just got all my postcards in from the postcard swap and I signed up for TOKmas.

Could it be bi-polar?

Phew! I was out all day with Sandy, doing our Saturday stuff on Sunday. We had an enjoyable day. Found out Barnes & Noble sells a whole line of Dr. Who goodies. Not good for me to know! LOLOL!!!

Anyway I went downstairs a little while ago and Tony said he'd been looking for me earlier to see if I wanted to go to the San Gennaro festival today. Geez! And he's a completely different Tony than I heard last night. Weird.

We might go next Sunday. We'll see.

And my son left to go back to North Dakota today. He said he's coming back in two weeks.

A gorgeous day

I went to Naugatuck to Kayla and Anthony's combined birthday party. We had a nice time. Karla had a cannoli cake for Anthony, a regular birthday cake for Kayla and a cupcake for James for his promotion to white hat, whatever that is. Anthony is going to come back in two weeks too. I'm so glad.

Tony's being a complete asshole. The depression excuse doesn't work for me for either of them. They blame all their problems on the world and don't do a thing to help themselves. He was actually sitting there listening to all this bible stuff and how men should act -- seriously!!! only five minutes ago. And now he stormed out fucking this and fucking that because Rita didn't make supper. And yet there's a whole cooked pork loin in the fridge. What a jerk!

Almost autumn

The heat and humidity are gone after the torrential rain last night and a little today. The air feels wonderful and I'm imagining the smell of grapes. It has to be my imagination. So odd.

My boy will be going back to North Dakota on Sunday. I've only had glimpses of him. Tomorrow we'll have his birthday - Kayla's too - but I have no money for gifts. As long as I can pay bills, then it doesn't matter.

I am so wishing Allen was here.

Another cousin gone

Lisa called again tonight. Zia Angelina's son, Gigi (she said Gennarino but that's not his name), passed away. What is going on??? I know we're older but we're not all THAT old.

Court

So Rita and Tony and the tenant went to court today and the court gave her until midnight on the 30th to be out. So hopefully October me and Pino and Ruffio will be in. Of course there's no refrigerator and no hot water but at least my stuff will be in it's own place and Ruffie will be free to run around a whole apartment.

Today was really hot. It's 7:32 and still 84 degrees. But it's certainly bearable considering the glorious summer we've had except for the heat wave for that week or so.

Hair cut

I had Rita trim my hair. She took off an inch or so and layered it a little and it actually looks good. Her Blazer won't start and I still have stuff at the apartment -- I am NOT going there. Hopefully the Blazer will start and she can go there. Tony is useless now. I have no clue how the dryer is going to get out and over here or where it's going to go since he's stopped again.

Care of Magical Creatures

I just bought the second set of charms patterns from Tiny Owl Knits. I'm going to knit them all. They're tiny and they're fast and I love that there's a task associated with each one. So far I knit the unicorn horn and the Arcromantula. I need to find the skinny metal bracelets to put them on. If I do a garland, Ruffio will destroy it. LOL!!

Good day

I'm still avoiding going back to the apartment so Rita's going sometime this week to at least get the bins. I really, really don't want to go. Tony is being useless right now -- depression -- so I doubt he'll get the end stuff done. I have to figure out who I can get to help with the dryer and bikes.

But I did get to see my Anthony today. I met him and Karla down in front of the Elks and we went to Bar None for wings. I also brought him his gun and ammo so that's out of my hands now.

That's about it.

The Anthonys

My son is home -- I know I said that already but he is and I'm happy. I'll see him tomorrow. My son-in-law has a job at a cable tv call center and he starts work on Monday. Benefits and all. God is answering my prayers for financial freedom for my family. Yes, it means working and earning the money but it means having the money to live normally.

Uncle Dotsie's Karen is back from Salento and she says Zio Salvatore isn't allowed in his meat market anymore because he's got a disease that no one says what it is and that he looks pregnant. Obviously he has Hep C. I wonder if Daddy had lived long enough if he would have come down with it too?

Another day

Anthony is home -- well he's in Naugatuck and still won't come here. Nothing I can do about that. I will see him tomorrow after work sometime.

I went with Donna to ride along while she did some of her work and we went to Staples and then for pizza. Good thing I didn't take Rita at her word and wait for the chicken she was making for supper. It's 9:28 and she's still not home. LOL!

Carol doesn't call at all and didn't reply to my email today or my missed phone call. I miss them so much.

Life is pretty strange lately but it IS good no matter what.

Cosmic tonight

I didn't go to the apartment like I planned. I'll do all that on Saturday morning. I really don't want to face her. So it's off to Cosmic tonight. I hope we don't run to late because I'm totally exhausted for some reason!

Still not done

I still didn't go back and I don't know what to do about some stuff there but oh well -- will do it when I get the nerve. Luisa has my stomach in knots and I don't know why.

We had our first official Cultural Commission meeting tonight - down on the Green with a folding table and got a LOT accomplished.

AND most importantly for the moment - I found my work clothes. Geez!

A Luisa free day

Tony said Luisa said they're not showing the place until after Freddy paints so we don't have to rush. The mattresses are here but we still have to get stuff out of the basement and get that damned couch out.

Today I went to the laundromat and got gas and cat food and stuff. The rest of the day I just stayed here pretty much in my room.

Almost done

Tony went and got the mattress and I'm not sure what he left up there. There really was nothing left in the apartment except stuff for the dump. The dryer is still in the basement as are my bins and Anthony's tires but those can stay for a few more days. I'm so done with this.

I made us spare ribs and corn and Rita made rice and so we had a good supper.

I guess I didn't post when I got woken up at 2:30 this morning by a guy screaming and swearing outside. I went downstairs and Tony wasn't there. Then the guy started calling for Tony and I called Tony on his cell and left him a message. The guy was lying on the ground flipping drunk and yelling. THEN he came into the yard and was pounding on the door and I thought he was going to break in. That's when I called the cops. They got here in two minutes flat. Turns out it was Tony's friend, Jeff, the one that helped move stuff one of the days last week. Oh well -- I don't care who he was, I would have still called the cops!

Talked to my baby boy today. It's his 34th birthday. I can't believe it. I miss Allen. I miss the Allen who fathered my kids and loved me. I miss my parents and friends and our old lives. I miss my Carol and Anthony and Allen. But I will see my son by next weekend at least.

Just a hair short of done

So Tony and I worked our asses off all day and all but the mattress are here. There's stuff for the dump and there's the couch and Luisa will pitch a fit but we are so done for the day. I'm going to the reunion. And then bed. Tomorrow is another day.

I misplaced my 'computer' glasses and that's not a good thing. Those are what I wear most. The others are too strong and for far distance.

Oh my God!

I got out of work about 45 minutes early and came home and packed the Jeep. Went down to Rita's and she's having a freaking melt down and that killed the night. I scoured the fridge and did as much as my body will allow and am now sitting on the floor with the bed taken apart and hoping Tony will come around 9:30 like he said he would.

Luisa is showing this place to two people tomorrow at 10 and after 10. I got the scrap guy coming around 10:30 and at least one dump run to make. I have to wash the floors and windows before anyone gets here and Rita's the one having the melt down. I seriously can't wait until tomorrow afternoon when this is all over.

Roseann's picking me up around 6:15 so we can meet Ray and Patty for supper before going to the All Class Reunion. I'm having her drop me at my car so I can go down since she's an old poop  nowadays. LOLOL!!!

Two days and counting

Came home after work and emptied out the pantry for the most part. I need to wash down all the shelves -- ugh! Nasty because it's been at least six or nine months since it's been done. I think that will be the worst of the cleaning. And the gas was shut off today -- what WAS I thinking? So all the washing will have to be done with cold water. I hope the electric won't be shut off until Saturday because I will need to vacuum all the rugs when the furniture is all out and I have a feeling that won't be until then. Geez!! So after work tomorrow I'll be doing more. I can't wait until Saturday night.

Saturday night I will be done, done, done! And then going out to eat with Roseann and Ray and Patty and then on to the All Class Reunion. It wasn't advertised much this year so I don't know how many people will show up. Doesn't matter -- I just need the time out.

Exhausted

Even my fingertips hurt and I did less today than yesterday. I did get to the dump and got the toys to Stephanie. Might do another small dump run Saturday morning. I called the guy to come remove the washer and the AC. Tony and Jeff came and moved a TON of crap into Tony's garage and the rest should go over the next day or two. I went to the laundramat and did what I had on hand. I will have to go back again -- probably Saturday. I have stuff sorted pretty much into what has to go up into the room with me and what can go in the garage. Rita's tenant is still there and it doesn't look (to me) like she's leaving any time soon.  But at least I'll be out of here. Honestly if I can stay at Rita's for a month, or even a few weeks, it will save me some money and I can hopefully make my new start in a better position.

Tomorrow and Friday I will be working and then coming home and cleaning. It won't be sparkly but it will be the best I can get it doing it on my own.

So I was thinking -- for some reason these past seven years here on Seymour Ave. were very epic. Seriously. Just before I came here I quit smoking. In the short seven years, I became friends with an old friend, became enemies with that same friend, forgave and was forgiven and became closer friends with her and almost lost her in a major accident; I got close again to my cousin and then backed way away; made some friends and lost those same friends to their own nastiness; got divorced from the only man I ever loved, then lost him even further to cancer; lost a sister-in-law; had foot surgery, had my kids love each other again and then hate each other, had my daughter move to Florida, move back here and now back to Florida, had my son go work out in the Wild Wild West; lost the one person in my life who ever truely loved me 100% unconditionally (Lou); lost Aunt El and then Uncle Dotsie; weathered through two major hurricanes - Irene and Sandy; lost a best friend, Darlene the day Sandy started; lost a good friend, Bunny to Hep C; weathered two major winter storms, including the 'Storm of the Century'; watched Pino go from a lively 7 year old dog to an old man of almost 15; had my granddaughter live with me and then leave to live with her mom; had another grandchild; lost my brother-in-law and regained him. And there's more. But what a roller coaster these short seven years have been!

Good day

I took half a day off from work and Rita and I and then Tony and one guy or another worked our butts off. Most of the furniture is out and Rita and I packed her car full and also did a dump run. Luisa showed the place to some people tonight and they may be interested.

Tomorrow I am off and we'll do as much of the rest as humanly possible. Rita is still under the impression that her tenants will be leaving by the weekend. We'll see. If so, Monday will be another day of hard labor but eventually I'll be in.

And still

Rita and I filled her blazer and my jeep with bags and bags of stuff and brought it to her house. We didn't go to Angelina's 80th birthday party but I wasn't invited anyway. I'll try to get down and see her later in the week.

Tony came over and now knows about the cat and seems ok. I gave him the key so he can get some guys and try to get the furniture out. God help us please because with this crew I really, really need help!!

I'm debating taking a PL day, if I have any left, maybe Wednesday to hopefully finish up here. I still have laundry to do too! I seriously can't wait to get done here.

Still waiting

Trusting in prayers getting answered because trusting in my sister or brother-in-law just doesn't work. Nothing at all has been moved out of this apartment except for a bag of yarn that I brought to their house last week. I've begged for Tony to get his people together to move the furniture at least. I have five days left here. Louisa wants to show the apartment. I can't let her show the apartment with crap all over the place. I'm at a standstill now.

According to my sister we'd get some furniture moved tonight and the rest tomorrow after Angelina's 80th birthday party that I wasn't invited to but am going to anyway. She said she'd call me back in an hour -- that was almost five hours ago.

So I spent the day packing more bags full of pantry stuff and scouring the stove and cleaning fan blades and I'm done for the day. Maybe forever because I can't do anything more until someone starts moving stuff.

This time next week I'll be at the All Class Reunion and will have been all moved in. I have faith in this!

Out to supper

Came home from work and am going to go to Laura and Joel's for supper. I put a few bags full of stuff in the Jeep to take to Karla's over the weekend. I'm going to pack that thing chock full and get as much as I can up there. I've got to get Tony to come over and see if he can get this furniture moved out of here. We have less than a week. I need to be completely done by next Friday.

Louisa wants to show the apartment. Can't blame her but I don't want people in here while it's a mess. I told her she can start on Monday, I hope. I'm wondering if she'll give me our security deposit. I finally found the receipts proving we did give her $1000. And I don't think the place has been vandalized in any way. We also replaced the shelf thing that goes over the toilet, put in around $300 worth of blinds and they will stay here and the new sink faucet.

Kitty stuff

I stopped after work and bought a new full-size litter box for Rufio. He's grown so much!! Also got him some catnip mice.

That's about it.

Almost forgot to write tonight

Not that I have anything good to say but it keeps me on my toes and hopefully will remind me of stuff later in life.

Today, after work, I went to Rita's to help her clean out those rooms. Tony will come here tomorrow night to check out the furniture. We have to get that out. I'm going to put as much as possible up karlas.

That's it

Old friends and strangeness

So Karla and I had hotdogs after I got home from work and then I went down to the Green for the concert. It was Larry Crasilli but the weird thing is he really hasn't a clue. He knew Tommy, guess they'd talked a few weeks ago or whatever. But after the concert I went up and asked if he remembered me and he said Smith Street and didn't we graduate in 1970 together? Wow! I thought my memory sucked but geez, this is a guy who lived across the street from me as teens and who's previous  wife I hung out with when my kids were small AND yes Class of 1970 but also 9 years at St. Mary's School. VERY weird. And weirder still, I am fairly certain that the gun has lived in Connecticut his whole life. If not, he could  not have spent as much time out of state as would be needed for him to acquire a Country accent. Seriously. He has a real Country cowboy accent. And he's a pastor. And I'm feeling really weirded out by this.

Oh and Laura and Joel asked me to be the treasurer of the Cultural Commission. I said yes.

Really nice day

Met with Jack and we talked at Dunkin Donuts for over two hours. It was so nice being with him again. Chris Gorzelany walked in too and sat and talked with us a big. I love, love, LOVE my small town life.

I know I did a little around here but I can't remember what. LOL!!

Stopped down to join the Derby Senior Center and got nowhere. I stood at an empty desk for five or ten minutes while a lady gave dance lessons in the next room, saw me, and never indicated she knew I was there or that anyone would come. So I left.

Went to Rita's to check out my new room. I'll have to go over Wednesday and help her clean it out.

Karla had a great idea -- give Allena's stuff that they left behind, to a daycare. So I sent Stephanie a message asking if they'd like it and she said yes.

And instead of me having to have my stuff, other than furniture, at a stranger's house, Karla said she has tons and tons of room to store it for me.

I have started giving Pino one advil at night instead of half of one of his pills since they're not going to give me more without a check up for him. It seems to be working and he's still getting up on his own for the most part and doing the stairs without me having to half carry him.

So all in all it was a very good day.

Accomplished a bit

I wiped down the tiled parts of the walls in the bathroom and washed those blinds and one set from the dining room. I forgot about the ones in the other other bedroom. Hopefully I'll have the energy to do that tomorrow. I wiped down the shower and tub and washed that window. Wrapped all my glasses and cups and the few dishes I have left. I don't know what to do with this stuff.

Have tomorrow off so hopefully I'll accomplish some more then.

Normal Saturday

Except for a little packing. I can't do this all at once so I'm doing it bit by bit. Tomorrow will probably be an all day packing day - a little packing, a little break, a little cleaning, a little break, a little packing, etc.

Went to Woodbury and Southbury with Sandy - did a normal Saturday thing. We went to the Woodbury flea market, a few thrift stores and ate at a little place called Dottie's. All in all it was a nice Saturday.

Because the weather's been so nice some leaves are already starting to turn. But it's supposed to get hot and humid again during the week. At least it's August and Autumn really will be here soon.

Off Monday!

I'm going to meet up with Jack at Dunkin Donuts on Monday. It's been so good to talk to him again.

I've been waiting for Anthony to call me since yesterday and I still haven't heard from him. I hate this. Makes me nervous. I'm sure he's ok but still, I'm his mother, I have to worry.

Peggie's been calling me a lot and still talking Elks. Grrrrrrrrrr! LOL!!

Just talked to Anthony and gave him all his banking info. He's been in a really bad cell area. Not eaten by grizzlies. YEAH!

The dog is killing me!

My God. I think now he's actually doing it on purpose. He can get on his feet and he lets me know when he's got to go out. And tonight he ran down the stairs without me holding on to him. But he fought me every step of the way coming back up and I almost fell down a flight of stairs twice.

That's it!

And another good day

Pino seems to be doing pretty good. He's more alert and on his feet easier and hasn't peed himself.

Anthony is at the Buffalo Bill museum as of a few hours ago and Karla seems to think he's not going to go grizzly bear hunting. That sets my mind at ease!!

Put a bunch of packed stuff in their old room and have tons of cleaning to do. But I'm concentrating more on packing and moving things into there so I have the space to clean. That's the hardest part -- washing walls, windows and floors.

Rita was supposed to give me back the $50 she was going to led me for Lindsey's wedding card before today so the car insurance wouldn't bounce. It's a good thing I had a little more than I thought in my account because she only gave me $20. She still owes me $30 plus the $7 for toilet paper.

No news on if her tenants are leaving or not.

A good day

Meaning that so far everything has been good. Nothing wrong, thank God. I made bacon gravy and biscuits for supper and, although on the thick side, it did come out yummy!

Anthony just called. He's on his way to Cody, WY - probably to the Buffalo Bill Museum of the West. My God! He's going to all the places I dreamed of going most of my life. He plans on fishing and hunting for food even though he's got plenty of money coming in now. He's living the the life Allen and I always thought he'd go for. At least for a time. He's made friends in Montana and Wyoming and they've offered him places to stay. Oh how I hope he's happy. God is answering my prayers. Carol seems happy where she is and now Anthony too. And God is helping me with my own issues. And I'll continue those prayers and add the prayer that both Carol and Anthony, once and forever, drop whatever it is they have against each other, and love each other from here to eternity.

Thank you God for answering my prayers.

PIno

Had to call the vet and get anti inflammatory/pain meds for him because he can't stand up on his own. I only gave him one dose when I got home from work - along with the other meds he's on he has to take these twice a day) and when I went to help him up to go out just now, he stood up himself!!

Anthony's getting good pay and I had to get $100 from him to cover my stuff this week. He's got to pay $500 for his car to get repaired and pay back some money with this check but starting with his next, he'll be paying his share of stuff and paying me back a bit at a time and helping with Pino.

I've been praying for financial freedom for me and my family and God is answering my prayers. I'm not talking about being rich but about being able to earn enough money to live on and have a bit left over.

Productive day

So I accomplished a crapload of stuff today.

I finished reading Frost Burned. I love the Mercy Thompson series.

Had Anthony let me take $100 out of his account to cover what would bounce. Then went to Home Depot and bought little cans of spackle and stain.

I spackled the little screw holes in the wall in Anthony's (and later Carol & Anthony's) room. Washed down the walls in there, vacuumed, shampooed the rug although it doesn't look it. All I have left in there is windows and blinds.

Put stain on the door where Zooey scratched it. It looks better than it did and hope it passes.

I made mac and cheese -- it's just out of the oven now and I'm starving but I have to let it cool off a little.

Packed up a back of pantry stuff and put that bag and another that was already packed into the dining room. The dining room is being the hold all room of packed things.

Talked to Yvonne. Talked to Rita. Talked to Peggy.

Took a shower.

I'm going to put on an episode of Elementary and eat and then cast on for a dishcloth for someone at Ravelry that needs them for a charity thing.

Phew!

Reception

Lindsey's wedding reception up here was actually really nice. Everyone seemed to have a great time. I rode up with (Old Aunt) Karen and Barb and we sat with Richard and his wife and Claudia and a cousin of Tony's that I never met before.

It was at Anthony's Ocean View in New Haven and was very impressive but I enjoyed seeing people I haven't seen in years -- like the Salemme twins and Anna and Lisa, of course, and Ron Culmo who also got t-boned a few weeks ago but he's doing fine.

Babies

Little Timmy is expecting a baby around February 4. Awesome! I can't believe how fast time flies.

Holy cow!

I remembered last night that I hadn't posted in a few days and then forgot to come in and do it.

I think that I always remember to post when I'm upset or depressed and stuff and when things are good, great or even just ok, I forget. Geez!

So Monday night was the food thing at the library. I love them. Stacy will have another one in October and I have to remember to sign up for it. Had to stop at John's and get oil -- three quarts!

Tuesday I was home and then Arlene called and we went to Antonio's for supper. Also I'm now hooked on playing Candy Crush like the rest of the world is so that's pretty much what I did. I don't play against (or with) anyone, I just play to play. Had my headlights replaced after work

Last night was Comic and Donna's friend, Cherie, drove us. She lives in Norwalk and was the house where we did the cleansing this winter.

Pino is having incontinence again so I had to get some meds. Hopefully they'll work.

Been talking to Anthony every few days. He's finally done with his first two weeks of work and has this week and next week off. I talk to Carol every other day or so and my pumpkin doesn't care that she doesn't see me. She's having fun which is a great thing.

Rita wants to cut my hair tonight. God help me! LOL!!

Effing heath care

Yvonne's in what was a Catholic hospital that is now owned by Yale, as are most of the hospitals in at least our part of the state. She has been moved to a room in the rehab section and when I called her she was in tears. She'd asked for pain meds - which she is told she can have when SHE feels she needs them but hadn't had in hours and asked to have her catheter bag emptied. That was around ten of 8. An hour later no one had come and she'd called one or two more times. Finally someone comes in and starts YELLING at her. Excuse me???? She does NOT deserve to be screamed at after what she's been through. Actually no one deserves that in a place where the are supposed to be helped. Well the connection failed on my phone and I couldn't get her back because her line was busy so I called Spencer and he went to the hospital to ream a few people out. She's mad at me for telling him. I'm not sorry I did. They do NOT have that right. She said she reported the aide who yelled, but still. She's in a position where anyone can take advantage of her. This is pure bullshit!! Spencer said he'll call me but I'm going to bed in an hour if he hasn't called by then.

He just called and I'm on the phone with her now. She's back to Yvonne and I'm happy about it!

Saw her

Met Spencer at their house at 9 a.m. and then he took me to the hospital. She looks great and should be out of ICU in a few days. Only one leg is broken, not both and both arms are fine. The rest is the same. But she's going to make it back all the way. I know it.

Tomorrow

I get to see Yvonne. Can't tell anyone but I'm going in as her sister. Spencer called and said she needed a favor and could I meet him at their house in the morning, we'll get her laptop and then go to the hospital. They moved her into a different room and she's looking at three months therapy or more. Anyway she needs to dictate some stuff that needs to be typed and of course I'll do it. Especially if it allows me to see her. God is so good and she's healing. She talked to me a few seconds too and sounds dopey but she sounds like her.

Sandy and I went to Seymour today - lunch at Tea with Tracey -- I love that place. I had a tea called Smokey Siberian or something liked that and it tasted and smelled like drinking a campfire.  I love it. We did the whole afternoon tea thing in the morning and even though you only get one scone, one sandwich and one dessert, it was so filling we had to have our dessert packed.

I'm so excited about tomorrow!

Missed a day again

Yesterday's Yvonne news was that she was going into surgery for her pelvis but Spencer never called me afterwards. He called me this morning to say the surgery was a success. She had 13 pins/metal thingies put in to repair her pelvis and the put casts on her legs so they'll heal. Next surgery, tomorrow, I think, is lung. They don't have to remove it. There's a balloon inflating it right now but she has eleven broken bones and they will have to get bone shards out of the lung and then sew it up. All in all the prognosis seems pretty damn good!

Went to Bob Cavanaugh's wake last night. It was nice to see Peter and Bobby after all these years but a sucky reason why.

And that's the news for now. I miss my kids and my Laney. My kitchen is clean every day when I get home -- no dishes and pans all over the place; empty and clean sink. I'm cleaning and stuff a little at a time.

Rita says the tenants say they'll be out in two weeks. We'll see. I'll be ready and have everything I don't need to use all packed up and ready to go within that time frame.

Praising God!!

Oh my God! Miracles do happen and Yvonne is the proof. Spencer called and said she's out of the woods and off the ventilator and sitting up and talking and worrying about work and wanted him to call me and she's just doing so well. She's on a lower dose of morphine and of course still in lots of pain.

Her liver an spleen haven been sewn, her pelvis will be addressed tomorrow and her lung on Friday. Then they'll think about her bones. She's got weeks and weeks left in the hospital and then months in rehab. But she's back and with us and alive. And God is so wonderful and good!