February 14, 2016

Zero degree weather yesterday and today - and teens. Real New England winter.

Lina Lucarelli passed away. There will be some great pizza in Heaven.

I finished knitting my first real sock. Hope to start the next one tomorrow.

Got a new phone the other day. Went to a Galaxy Note 5. Still getting used to not having an Iphone.

February 9

Apparently everything is back to normal. No apologies or anything - just like nothing ever happened. I can live with that. But that doesn't mean that I think they will stay even though they talk like they are. So I'm very grateful that I can afford my place by myself and that I can die alone there.

Tomorrow begins Lent and it's also Sammy's 20th birthday. Time flies too fast.

Ok. Lent. Can I do it? Fish (or no meat) tomorrow and on all Fridays. That's easy enough. Just have to remember. No in between snacks - I don't snack in between too often, but I will have to remember to have breakfast. Three meals a day. And, if at all possible, healthy food. We'll see if I even remember. I hope I do.

February 7

So yesterday I went to Tom and Liz's for a few hours and had a very nice time.

Came home and as far as I knew, the plans were still the same for today. No, I don't watch the Superbowl, I glance at it now and then but eat and enjoy the company of who I'm with. I was kind of excited since this was going to be our first 'family' munchie/tv time in years.

This morning I get up and Carol says they're going to Bob and Leah's. Anthony informs me that I hate football and have said it many times. WTF? and of course a huge shouting match ensues. I've insulted his intelligence twice now and I'm no good and I'm a bitch, etc. I told him if he didn't like it to leave. I am deadly serious. He said they were going to leave and said I could die along and said my son was - I can't remember what but not good.

So now I understand completely that he's pretended all this time to like Anthony and me and probably because they needed my help. I won't do this and I can't. I want to live my life without negativity and in peace.

So if they stay -- I doubt they can leave right away plus they need my car -- I'll pretend everything is normal but I will not let myself get fooled again. If they leave -- nothing I can do about it. As long as they pay me what they owe me, I don't care.

I can  not and will not live with my stomach in knots again. And this WILL be the last time ever. As much as I love them, I will not put my health at risk for them. And I will NOT be stupid ever again.

February 2

St. Blaise Day. I was going to go to Mass Sunday but didn't sleep half the night and slept through going to Mass after coming home from dropping Sam at work for 5 a.m. She is working at our Panera's. After Sam got out of work, she, Carol, Allena and I went to the Book Barn. Love that place.

So I decided to take off yesterday and today. For some reason I just want to stay home and go nowhere. Period. I didn't go to the library coloring thing Monday night and I'm not going to Treasured Time tonight. I wish I could retire!!

The weather has been soooooooooo weird. More spring or autumn than anything else. We had that one snowstorm last weekend and that was that. Today was 50 and Anthony and I ran to the store and I had a t-shirt on. I mean look at Christmas -- t-shirt and sandals. VERY weird.