We said our final goodbye's to Gina today. I still can't believe it. They had a repast at the VFW and Tim and Arlene made a place at the table for me with them and Joey and Sheila, etc. It was a good feeling to be part of family again for a bit. Horrible reason though.
I called Peggie and told her I'm not taking the apartment and she's pissed. Understandably so but I need to be with my sister and it's cheaper at my sister's and I can't deal with Peggie and her demands and stuff. I don't know when the apartment will be free so I haven't told Louisa yet. She's the last hurdle. I told Anthony and he's not happy at all about this but I asked him to try to understand. I just hate the shit he must have gone through with Tony - some of the stuff he said pierced my heart. If Allen and I had even the slightest idea how bad it was - drugs and more - he would have never been allowed to go with him. He actually said that he saw things that a kid should never be allowed to see. I froze and didn't ask him what he meant because I'm afraid to know. I thought I knew it all. I don't want to know. But for the sake of my sanity and my relationship with my sister, I'll pretend to tolerate being around Tony again.
I don't understand how our lives have come to this.
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