February 7

So yesterday I went to Tom and Liz's for a few hours and had a very nice time.

Came home and as far as I knew, the plans were still the same for today. No, I don't watch the Superbowl, I glance at it now and then but eat and enjoy the company of who I'm with. I was kind of excited since this was going to be our first 'family' munchie/tv time in years.

This morning I get up and Carol says they're going to Bob and Leah's. Anthony informs me that I hate football and have said it many times. WTF? and of course a huge shouting match ensues. I've insulted his intelligence twice now and I'm no good and I'm a bitch, etc. I told him if he didn't like it to leave. I am deadly serious. He said they were going to leave and said I could die along and said my son was - I can't remember what but not good.

So now I understand completely that he's pretended all this time to like Anthony and me and probably because they needed my help. I won't do this and I can't. I want to live my life without negativity and in peace.

So if they stay -- I doubt they can leave right away plus they need my car -- I'll pretend everything is normal but I will not let myself get fooled again. If they leave -- nothing I can do about it. As long as they pay me what they owe me, I don't care.

I can  not and will not live with my stomach in knots again. And this WILL be the last time ever. As much as I love them, I will not put my health at risk for them. And I will NOT be stupid ever again.