May 9, 2017

Been thinking so much of Lou lately. I just sat here in work and cried. I miss her. I miss her very much. I think I lost her voicemail that I had saved because I can't find it on my computer or phone. So I'll never hear her voice again. I am hurting so much.

At the end of the month it will be four years. Four years! The last words we said to each other were three days before she died. "I love you."

I don't understand why it hurts so much more than Allen dying. Maybe because she loved me and I loved her and with both of us it was unconditional. Even when I told her not to come back until she was clean, she knew I said that out of love and concern.

I think I need to start writing in here again in case anything happens to Facebook.